Having a Good Relationship With Your Parents
Relationships of all kinds are regularly perceived as very delicate things especially with the parents that demand remedy power to assert. However, a relationship can also be something that can offer wellbeing and be long lasting although many trials.
Building competent and lasting relationships with parents is an essential for numerous reasons. For example in a family, the well-being of the family members depends on how useful and useful the members workings.
An ineffective any of family members can truly be very frustrating. A valuable family can also ask so much on the members, that sometimes the members would be having no life scarce the stockade of the sphere where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of the life just to collect and problem the parents. For family members with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown if only specific qualities works on it.
Family is a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their stake to achieve a public goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and manner are manifested, can make citizens work better. In this way each element works for the good of the unbroken and towards achieving a common goal which is to concern for the parents. This can only be attained with capable and efficient relationships.
Understanding parents affection and positioning manually in the right way creates an operative and efficient relationship. The easiest reasoning to understand what is important to your parents is to ask them what they want and eavesdrop to what they have to say. When the surplus of the family realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them.
Effective and efficient relationships with parents hardship family members openly to state their feelings and positions on all matters related on the relationship. If the family members understand the needs of parents will leads into better family environment.
Respect is the key to relationship. To spawn a more actual relationship with parents, all should treat one another with point. We can show sense towards parents just by listening to them and by tiresome really to understand how and what they want. You can also show recognize your parents by confirming that they burden everything they can.
Respect parents are the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.
Another key fielded in forming an actual relationship is to tackle differences of the parents openly. Differences between parents are extremely interesting. This is because they will achieve that you are focusing on them that will generate strange kind of suspicion what we called LOVE.
Love is not something we asking for it or easily creating it for the sake of something. Love is something within you. Love is something you hardly expressing it with your terms. Love is something where parents and you acknowledge that the relationship is important. That faction would then exert more time, sweat and energy to understand the parents needs and covenant with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for parents will know that you tried.
Effectively listening and no prejudging is the key successful relationship this is important for you to understand that. Parents always judging you based on something. This is the spirit of parents the looking improvements in your life.
They pass out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.
Developing an atmosphere where the parents can explicit their feelings when they need to. When parents fast anything is on their brains or their feelings, it can get in the way of house an effective relationship.
Relationships are important to someone, addressing issues and troubles right away is a must to extra farther the relationship.
Building competent and lasting relationships with parents is an essential for numerous reasons. For example in a family, the well-being of the family members depends on how useful and useful the members workings.
An ineffective any of family members can truly be very frustrating. A valuable family can also ask so much on the members, that sometimes the members would be having no life scarce the stockade of the sphere where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of the life just to collect and problem the parents. For family members with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown if only specific qualities works on it.
Family is a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their stake to achieve a public goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and manner are manifested, can make citizens work better. In this way each element works for the good of the unbroken and towards achieving a common goal which is to concern for the parents. This can only be attained with capable and efficient relationships.
Understanding parents affection and positioning manually in the right way creates an operative and efficient relationship. The easiest reasoning to understand what is important to your parents is to ask them what they want and eavesdrop to what they have to say. When the surplus of the family realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them.
Effective and efficient relationships with parents hardship family members openly to state their feelings and positions on all matters related on the relationship. If the family members understand the needs of parents will leads into better family environment.
Respect is the key to relationship. To spawn a more actual relationship with parents, all should treat one another with point. We can show sense towards parents just by listening to them and by tiresome really to understand how and what they want. You can also show recognize your parents by confirming that they burden everything they can.
Respect parents are the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.
Another key fielded in forming an actual relationship is to tackle differences of the parents openly. Differences between parents are extremely interesting. This is because they will achieve that you are focusing on them that will generate strange kind of suspicion what we called LOVE.
Love is not something we asking for it or easily creating it for the sake of something. Love is something within you. Love is something you hardly expressing it with your terms. Love is something where parents and you acknowledge that the relationship is important. That faction would then exert more time, sweat and energy to understand the parents needs and covenant with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for parents will know that you tried.
Effectively listening and no prejudging is the key successful relationship this is important for you to understand that. Parents always judging you based on something. This is the spirit of parents the looking improvements in your life.
They pass out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.
Developing an atmosphere where the parents can explicit their feelings when they need to. When parents fast anything is on their brains or their feelings, it can get in the way of house an effective relationship.
Relationships are important to someone, addressing issues and troubles right away is a must to extra farther the relationship.
Arthritis Exercises - How Exercises Can Reduce Arthritic Pain
Arthritis pain can be alleviated in many ways. Although it may sound unusual, exercise is a very important treatment for arthritis. Arthritis causes stiffness and pain in the joints – arthritis exercises can help relieve the stiffness, which will help lessen the pain. Exercise is essential to the overall health of your body. Those who adhere to a regular exercise routine are better able to fight off the effects of many illnesses and are able to decrease the stiffness and pain associated with arthritis.
Before Arthritis
Exercise is important for everyone. It is important to begin an exercise regimen early in life and maintain a regular routine. Some of the overall benefits of exercise include:
• Improves your body’s ability to fight infections.
• Improves sleep quality.
• Helps you to lose weight if you are overweight.
• Helps you to gain weight if you are underweight.
• Help you to maintain your weight if you are at a healthy weight.
• Keeps your blood circulating, which makes your brain work better.
• Lowers your risk of illnesses such as diabetes, cancer, and heart disease.
The key to maintaining a healthy exercise regimen is to know your body’s limits. Over exercising can cause the symptoms of arthritis to begin earlier than what is normal. The key is to begin an exercise regimen and stay consistent.
First Signs of Arthritis
Even a regular exercise regimen will not completely prevent arthritis. Arthritis happens as the body ages naturally – and can occur in people who do everything they can to take care of their bodies. When you begin to notice the first signs of arthritis – stiffness or pain in certain joints – you need to learn the most effective of lessening the effects of arthritis. Arthritis exercises can help you to ease the pain and stiffness of arthritis and prolong the need for medications. Some of the benefits of arthritis exercises include:
• Strengthens muscles around the joints.
• Relieves joint stiffness.
• Increases joint flexibility.
• Increases your endurance levels.
• Relieves joint pain.
Beginning an Exercise Regimen in Arthritis
If you begin noticing symptoms of arthritis and you do not have a regular exercise regimen, it is not too late to begin. However, at this point you will have to begin your exercise routine with the goal of not aggravating the joints affected by arthritis and causing the symptoms to worsen. The most important types of exercises for arthritis suffers are:
• Range of motion – these exercises help you to maintain or increase flexibility by helping to maintain normal joint movement and help relieve the stiffness that can occur with arthritis.
• Strengthening – these exercises are designed to strengthen the muscles around the joints so that the joints and muscles work together. If the muscles are weak, the joints will take all of the pressure and wear and tear of the joints occurs more quickly.
• Endurance – these exercises help you to maintain overall body health including weight management and cardiovascular fitness. Extra weight on your body puts more pressure on the joints causing premature wear and tear. Keeping the blood flowing correctly helps all of your body parts work together as they should.
When you begin an arthritis exercise routine, you should begin slowly and build up as your body gains strength. Listen to your body – it will let you know if you are trying to do too much too soon. Here are some pointers on getting started with your exercise regimen:
• Discuss arthritis exercises with your physician.
• Exercise under the supervision of a physical therapist or trainer, if possible.
• Warm up and stretch your body before you begin exercising – range of motion exercises.
• Start slowly – you should begin strengthening exercises with the smallest amount of weight and build to larger amounts as your body can handle it.
• Aerobic exercises – once your body becomes accustomed to an exercise regimen, add aerobic exercises in order to improve your cardiovascular health.
• Recreational exercises – once your body becomes accustomed to an exercise regimen and you have added aerobic exercises, you can begin to add recreational exercises such as biking and swimming.
• Have fun – this is one of the most important aspects of your arthritis exercise regimen. If you choose a recreational exercise that you enjoy, you are more likely to maintain your routine and get the most benefit.
Before Arthritis
Exercise is important for everyone. It is important to begin an exercise regimen early in life and maintain a regular routine. Some of the overall benefits of exercise include:
• Improves your body’s ability to fight infections.
• Improves sleep quality.
• Helps you to lose weight if you are overweight.
• Helps you to gain weight if you are underweight.
• Help you to maintain your weight if you are at a healthy weight.
• Keeps your blood circulating, which makes your brain work better.
• Lowers your risk of illnesses such as diabetes, cancer, and heart disease.
The key to maintaining a healthy exercise regimen is to know your body’s limits. Over exercising can cause the symptoms of arthritis to begin earlier than what is normal. The key is to begin an exercise regimen and stay consistent.
First Signs of Arthritis
Even a regular exercise regimen will not completely prevent arthritis. Arthritis happens as the body ages naturally – and can occur in people who do everything they can to take care of their bodies. When you begin to notice the first signs of arthritis – stiffness or pain in certain joints – you need to learn the most effective of lessening the effects of arthritis. Arthritis exercises can help you to ease the pain and stiffness of arthritis and prolong the need for medications. Some of the benefits of arthritis exercises include:
• Strengthens muscles around the joints.
• Relieves joint stiffness.
• Increases joint flexibility.
• Increases your endurance levels.
• Relieves joint pain.
Beginning an Exercise Regimen in Arthritis
If you begin noticing symptoms of arthritis and you do not have a regular exercise regimen, it is not too late to begin. However, at this point you will have to begin your exercise routine with the goal of not aggravating the joints affected by arthritis and causing the symptoms to worsen. The most important types of exercises for arthritis suffers are:
• Range of motion – these exercises help you to maintain or increase flexibility by helping to maintain normal joint movement and help relieve the stiffness that can occur with arthritis.
• Strengthening – these exercises are designed to strengthen the muscles around the joints so that the joints and muscles work together. If the muscles are weak, the joints will take all of the pressure and wear and tear of the joints occurs more quickly.
• Endurance – these exercises help you to maintain overall body health including weight management and cardiovascular fitness. Extra weight on your body puts more pressure on the joints causing premature wear and tear. Keeping the blood flowing correctly helps all of your body parts work together as they should.
When you begin an arthritis exercise routine, you should begin slowly and build up as your body gains strength. Listen to your body – it will let you know if you are trying to do too much too soon. Here are some pointers on getting started with your exercise regimen:
• Discuss arthritis exercises with your physician.
• Exercise under the supervision of a physical therapist or trainer, if possible.
• Warm up and stretch your body before you begin exercising – range of motion exercises.
• Start slowly – you should begin strengthening exercises with the smallest amount of weight and build to larger amounts as your body can handle it.
• Aerobic exercises – once your body becomes accustomed to an exercise regimen, add aerobic exercises in order to improve your cardiovascular health.
• Recreational exercises – once your body becomes accustomed to an exercise regimen and you have added aerobic exercises, you can begin to add recreational exercises such as biking and swimming.
• Have fun – this is one of the most important aspects of your arthritis exercise regimen. If you choose a recreational exercise that you enjoy, you are more likely to maintain your routine and get the most benefit.
Exercise Bikes vs. Treadmills
decided you want to exercise at home. There are hundreds of pieces of home cardio equipment available. The most popular are treadmills and exercise bikes. In deciding between the two, you should compare long-term sustainability, the effectiveness of the workouts, and safety.
Overcoming Boredom
The biggest obstacle to a home exercise routine is sticking with it. You don’t have to drive to a gym, so your home fitness equipment is more convenient. The problem is that other distractions are just as convenient at home. The key is to make your routine fun. You want to look forward to your daily workout. You have to be realistic. Playing with the heart rate monitor or watching the calorie counter go up will only be fun the first couple of times you exercise.
o Treadmill vs. Boredom
On a treadmill, you walk. Walking isn’t that fun. You can walk at different speeds, but that isn’t really much more fun. If you get a treadmill that offers an incline, that keeps it a bit more interesting. Walking uphill isn’t exactly fun, but it’s different. It presents a challenge.
You can’t really read on a treadmill because you are bouncing up and down. You can’t keep your eyes on the same sentence, and you usually end up with a headache. Basically, the only thing fun to do on a treadmill is watch television or movies. If you are really into TV or movies and are able to put your treadmill in front of a television, you can probably keep your treadmill workout from becoming too boring. Problems consist of commercials, the noise coming from the machine, and again, the bouncing.
o Exercise Bikes vs. Boredom
Exercise bikes are unique in that many of them come programmed with various biking routines. You simulate different courses that require you to sprint, pedal uphill, and perform at different levels within one workout without having to keep pressing buttons and changing everything. You can even select random programs so you don’t know what’s coming, which really keeps you on your toes. Some exercise bikes can even be plugged into televisions and video games to let you interactively pedal through visual courses.
On upright exercise bikes, you run into some of the same problems as treadmills as far as reading is concerned. Recumbent bikes, however, allow your hands to be free to hold a book or magazine, video game controller, or phone. Multi-tasking during an exercise bike workout keeps it from becoming boring and allows your workout to more easily fit into a busy schedule.
Defeating boredom to successfully keep up a long-term exercise routine is much easier with an exercise bike than a treadmill.
The Calorie Factor
In a study conducted by Nordic Track, young, healthy people used various exercise machines and did cardio workouts. Although they felt they used the same intensity on all machines, they burned the most calories on treadmills and ski machines.
On average, most people burn about 750 calories per hour on a treadmill. The same people are likely to burn about 550 calories per hour on an exercise bike. So it’s a no-brainer, right? You should get a treadmill because they burn more calories.
Well, not exactly. You can’t get so caught up in which machine burns the most calories. You have to take a lot of other factors into consideration. How likely are you to sustain a treadmill routine as opposed to an exercise bike routine?
Because exercise bikes are usually more fun than treadmills, you are much more likely to stick with it long-term. This means that even though you can burn more calories on a treadmill, you are also more likely to stop using it altogether.
You might also find it difficult to use it long enough per workout session to get the full benefits. Most people find it easier to workout for 20 minutes on an exercise bike than 20 minutes on a treadmill. You have to think about that. If you are likely to only do 10 minutes on a treadmill but can easily do 20 minutes on an exercise bike, you will burn more calories per session on an exercise bike.
So just going strictly by the numbers, treadmills burn more calories. If you easily get bored or have tried and failed to stick with exercise routines in the past, you might want to consider burning less calories per hour in favor of a sustainable long-term exercise bike regimen.
Your Safety
The biggest difference between exercise bikes and treadmills is overall safety to your body.
The first case of safety is the most basic. You can fall off of a treadmill. It’s very difficult, however, to fall off of an exercise bike. In fact, you would probably have to try to fall when riding an exercise bike. While you might be thinking you’d have to be pretty clumsy to fall while walking, it happens more than you’d think. People get involved with watching television or the beat of music. One wrong step and you can seriously injure yourself. It’s also possible to spill water or sweat on the treadmill track, causing a safety hazard you might not notice until after you’ve slipped.
Another safety hazard is injury from the activity itself. A treadmill puts quite a bit of stress on your joints, especially your knees and ankles. Even if you invest in a treadmill with some degree of shock absorption, when you eventually get to a jogging or running point, you can put severe orthopedic stress on your body, even up to three times your body weight. People with existing conditions such as arthritis will find a treadmill painful at times due to this stress. Otherwise healthy individuals can sustain injury and possible long-term damage over time.
Exercise bikes put much less stress on your joints. A properly positioned exercise bike supports your weight and still allows you to receive the benefits of a higher impact cardio workout. Upright bikes can sometimes stress your back in the way you have to bend to reach the handlebars. Recumbent exercise bikes, however, can actually improve existing back pain by forcing proper posture and giving support as you exercise. On any exercise bike properly used, your knees and ankles are not stressed as they are on a treadmill.
The less you stress joints, the less likely you are to sustain an injury during your workout. You are also less likely to be sore afterwards. Most importantly, a non-workout injury doesn’t always have to halt your exercise routine on an exercise bike. If you hurt your back or neck, you will find the support of a recumbent exercise bike will keep you from having to stop your exercise regimen altogether. Let’s face it - if you have to stop, you are less likely to start again.
An Exercise Bike is Better for Your Health than a Treadmill
As you can see, both pieces of home fitness equipment have advantages. While the treadmill continues to be the most popular piece of home gym equipment, most people are more likely to faithfully use an exercise bike. This means you’re more likely to have to dust a treadmill until it gets the garage sale sticker.
Are you Addicted to Bad Relationships?
Advertising executive, Carol Fena has been in and out of a relationship with banker, Neal for the last two years. They break up for a week or two but then keep getting back together until the next blow-up. Carol’s friends can’t understand why she keeps going back to Neal and why she is so addicted to him in spite of the fact that he is emotionally abusive.
Many are the people caught in the web of addictive relationships. And often, we ourselves realise that we have been in relationships that have disappointed us in some way or another… relationships that didn’t work out the way we had hoped, wanted or thought they would. And, we’re not just talking about intimate and love relationships. We’re talking about toxic friends, back stabbing relatives, abusive partners and controlling family members, vicious colleagues.
Sometimes the poisoned relationship is with a family member or an in-law. Or perhaps a friendship has lived out its purpose. In this case, so much time has been invested in the friendship that it is hard to let go. However, addictive relationships are most often evident in romantic interactions between men and women.
UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Remaining in a bad relationship not only causes continual stress but can also cloud your life with frustration, emptiness and despair. It can drain your energy and make you tense and stressed. Addicts become so elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self-personal identity is severely restricted, crowded out by that other person’s identity and problems. Such people struggle relentlessly to fill the great emotional vacuum within themselves. Despite the pain of these relationships, many rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave, even though they know the relationship is bad for them.
One part of them wants out but a seemingly stronger part refuses or feels helpless to take any action. It is in this sense that the relationships are addictive. In case of romantic relationships, entering a relationship based on the fear of being alone is totally self-destructive. In this type of scenario, an individual will choose to be with just about anybody to fill the void he/she has in life. Desperation for love and romance to fulfill your desires may lead to selection of wrong partners. So, if you use your fears and insecurities to make your relationship decisions, you inevitably will have to suffer pain and suffering.
ATTACHMENT HUNGER
A person who is excessively attached to another person most likely carried those habits over from past relationships. The conditions in past relationships can leave a person feeling inadequate or mentally and/or physically abused. Romantic relationships are not the only type that causes such habits to develop; they can also stem from lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, early abandonment, unrecognised early needs and fears of rejection. Often, children who are not loved, nurtured and encouraged in their independence are left feeling ‘needy’ as adults and may thus be more vulnerable to dependent relationships. These ‘clingy’ feelings which develop early in childhood, often operate without awareness and can exert considerable influence on a person’s life. Often, dysfunctional relationship patterns are passed on from parents to their children.
Thus, unhealthy relationships can be a source of great agony if there is emotional or physical abuse involved. Often, relation addicts do not want to see or believe that their parents, spouses, children or friends can be a toxic influence in their life. This kind of denial may last a lifetime, or it may give way to a painful awareness that the relationship is not healthy. Also, for many people caught in this trap, it is often a vicious circle. For them, the end of one relationship is not always the end of the battle. They choose destructive relationships over and over again. The consequences of their choices are painful and emotionally damaging, yet those that engage in this repetitive behaviour never seem to learn from their experience.
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF BAD RELATIONSHIPS
All relationships leave very important clues about who and what we are. Try to remember all the relationships that you know have been bad for you. Think of the relationship history and look for patterns, themes and repeating incidents. “If it is all about everyone else and what they did to you, it means you are a victim, helpless to affect change. When you can see where you are contributing to the problems, you can make changes. Personal accountability is the most empowering tool for healing. You can talk to a trusted friend or a counsellor depending upon the severity of your situation. Sometimes having an outsider’s perspective is helpful. Such a person can help you filter through your options and underlying motives for making a decision. Often, it is difflcult to sever ties with people with whom you are emotionally involved - say family members, spouses, boyfriend/girlfriend, ete. Breaking up will not be easy. Be sure to resolve any guilt you might be feeling. Too often we let other people relate to us on the basis of our weaknesses and faults. We are attracted to bad traits in people and consequently, these characteristics lead to unhealthy relationships. These people have no other way of relating to us. It will take some re-learning and re-conditioning to achieve this change of relating to others through our strengths, especially if the negative relationship has been long term. You have to let go of negative relationships. It could mean you have to break a business partnership. It could mean you need to call off an engagement. It might require you to avoid toxic friends and acquire some new friends who are true to you.
STAYING IN A BAD MARRIAGE
Married people stay together to work out their issues. This approach to marriage counselling believes that your partner is the right person to help you heal your wounds. With this approach, many marriages can be saved. However, there are three reasons to leave a relationship: The Three As. There is severe abuse, severe adultery and severe addiction. These three extreme conditions rarely change. In such cases, getting out of the relationship is important. You are putting yourself, and possibly others, in serious jeopardy if you continue to stay in the relationship. Divorce in such cases is merited. Also, partners sometimes stay in bad marriages for the sake of the children. But this can be a big mistake if there is abuse involved, because doing so puts a terrible burden on the children. But marriage experts believe that each marriage has different issues and if the problems can be solved amicably, there is no need for divorce. A study conducted by sociologist Linda Waite at University of Chicago suggests that staying together is better for the children. She writes in The Case for Marriage that “most current divorces leave children worse off, educationally and financially, than they would have been if their parents stayed married, and a majority of divorces leave children psychologically worse off as well. Only a minority of divorces are taking place in families where children are likely to benefit in any way from their parents’ separation. I do not advocate divorce as a first step when a marriage is going awry. There are always ups and downs in a marriage. Anyone can manage life during good times. It is getting through the bad times that makes or breaks a relationship.
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
It is not difficult to break bad relationship habits. Once you decide to let go off your clingy nature, healing will automatically come. Once you aim to heal your past and maintain healthy relationships, you will automatically stay away from associating with toxic people. Always try to keep your relationships healthy. People in healthy relationships grow together and don’t stunt each other’s progress. Learn to respect your individuality and give and take space. Sometimes we have to associate with negative people, but if you have a healthy self-esteem and courage to stand up for yourself, you won’t be affected by such people. Thus, the first step towards breaking bad relationship habits is having a strong conception of your own identity. Often, we allow people into our lives who treat us as we expect to be treated. So, if you feel contempt for yourself or think very little of yourself, you may pick partners or significant others who reflect this image back to you. Learn to recognise such patterns in your life and pluck them off. There will be anger, resentment, hurt and pain. But, you will be breaking your psychological dependency on other people. Recovering from relationship addiction is a process of acknowledging and then letting go of pain, and finding ways to build a happy life.
OVERCOMING RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION
1) Make your ‘recovery’ the first priority in your life. Look for roots of emotional abuse.
2) Go through your early relationships. Tell yourself that you’re an adult now, in charge of your life. Invest your time in disconnecting from the emotions that have been eating you alive.
3) Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself, i.e., fill in gaps that have made you feel undeserving or bad about yourself.
4) Learn to stop managing and controlling others; by being more focused on your own needs; you will no longer need to seek security from others.
5) Develop your spiritual side, i.e., find out what brings you peace and serenity and commit some time, at least half an hour daily, to that endeavour.
6) Learn not to get hooked into bad relationships.
7) Find a support group of friends who understand the pressures you might be facing.
Consider getting professional help, if need arises.
Many are the people caught in the web of addictive relationships. And often, we ourselves realise that we have been in relationships that have disappointed us in some way or another… relationships that didn’t work out the way we had hoped, wanted or thought they would. And, we’re not just talking about intimate and love relationships. We’re talking about toxic friends, back stabbing relatives, abusive partners and controlling family members, vicious colleagues.
Sometimes the poisoned relationship is with a family member or an in-law. Or perhaps a friendship has lived out its purpose. In this case, so much time has been invested in the friendship that it is hard to let go. However, addictive relationships are most often evident in romantic interactions between men and women.
UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Remaining in a bad relationship not only causes continual stress but can also cloud your life with frustration, emptiness and despair. It can drain your energy and make you tense and stressed. Addicts become so elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self-personal identity is severely restricted, crowded out by that other person’s identity and problems. Such people struggle relentlessly to fill the great emotional vacuum within themselves. Despite the pain of these relationships, many rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave, even though they know the relationship is bad for them.
One part of them wants out but a seemingly stronger part refuses or feels helpless to take any action. It is in this sense that the relationships are addictive. In case of romantic relationships, entering a relationship based on the fear of being alone is totally self-destructive. In this type of scenario, an individual will choose to be with just about anybody to fill the void he/she has in life. Desperation for love and romance to fulfill your desires may lead to selection of wrong partners. So, if you use your fears and insecurities to make your relationship decisions, you inevitably will have to suffer pain and suffering.
ATTACHMENT HUNGER
A person who is excessively attached to another person most likely carried those habits over from past relationships. The conditions in past relationships can leave a person feeling inadequate or mentally and/or physically abused. Romantic relationships are not the only type that causes such habits to develop; they can also stem from lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, early abandonment, unrecognised early needs and fears of rejection. Often, children who are not loved, nurtured and encouraged in their independence are left feeling ‘needy’ as adults and may thus be more vulnerable to dependent relationships. These ‘clingy’ feelings which develop early in childhood, often operate without awareness and can exert considerable influence on a person’s life. Often, dysfunctional relationship patterns are passed on from parents to their children.
Thus, unhealthy relationships can be a source of great agony if there is emotional or physical abuse involved. Often, relation addicts do not want to see or believe that their parents, spouses, children or friends can be a toxic influence in their life. This kind of denial may last a lifetime, or it may give way to a painful awareness that the relationship is not healthy. Also, for many people caught in this trap, it is often a vicious circle. For them, the end of one relationship is not always the end of the battle. They choose destructive relationships over and over again. The consequences of their choices are painful and emotionally damaging, yet those that engage in this repetitive behaviour never seem to learn from their experience.
BREAKING THE CYCLE OF BAD RELATIONSHIPS
All relationships leave very important clues about who and what we are. Try to remember all the relationships that you know have been bad for you. Think of the relationship history and look for patterns, themes and repeating incidents. “If it is all about everyone else and what they did to you, it means you are a victim, helpless to affect change. When you can see where you are contributing to the problems, you can make changes. Personal accountability is the most empowering tool for healing. You can talk to a trusted friend or a counsellor depending upon the severity of your situation. Sometimes having an outsider’s perspective is helpful. Such a person can help you filter through your options and underlying motives for making a decision. Often, it is difflcult to sever ties with people with whom you are emotionally involved - say family members, spouses, boyfriend/girlfriend, ete. Breaking up will not be easy. Be sure to resolve any guilt you might be feeling. Too often we let other people relate to us on the basis of our weaknesses and faults. We are attracted to bad traits in people and consequently, these characteristics lead to unhealthy relationships. These people have no other way of relating to us. It will take some re-learning and re-conditioning to achieve this change of relating to others through our strengths, especially if the negative relationship has been long term. You have to let go of negative relationships. It could mean you have to break a business partnership. It could mean you need to call off an engagement. It might require you to avoid toxic friends and acquire some new friends who are true to you.
STAYING IN A BAD MARRIAGE
Married people stay together to work out their issues. This approach to marriage counselling believes that your partner is the right person to help you heal your wounds. With this approach, many marriages can be saved. However, there are three reasons to leave a relationship: The Three As. There is severe abuse, severe adultery and severe addiction. These three extreme conditions rarely change. In such cases, getting out of the relationship is important. You are putting yourself, and possibly others, in serious jeopardy if you continue to stay in the relationship. Divorce in such cases is merited. Also, partners sometimes stay in bad marriages for the sake of the children. But this can be a big mistake if there is abuse involved, because doing so puts a terrible burden on the children. But marriage experts believe that each marriage has different issues and if the problems can be solved amicably, there is no need for divorce. A study conducted by sociologist Linda Waite at University of Chicago suggests that staying together is better for the children. She writes in The Case for Marriage that “most current divorces leave children worse off, educationally and financially, than they would have been if their parents stayed married, and a majority of divorces leave children psychologically worse off as well. Only a minority of divorces are taking place in families where children are likely to benefit in any way from their parents’ separation. I do not advocate divorce as a first step when a marriage is going awry. There are always ups and downs in a marriage. Anyone can manage life during good times. It is getting through the bad times that makes or breaks a relationship.
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
It is not difficult to break bad relationship habits. Once you decide to let go off your clingy nature, healing will automatically come. Once you aim to heal your past and maintain healthy relationships, you will automatically stay away from associating with toxic people. Always try to keep your relationships healthy. People in healthy relationships grow together and don’t stunt each other’s progress. Learn to respect your individuality and give and take space. Sometimes we have to associate with negative people, but if you have a healthy self-esteem and courage to stand up for yourself, you won’t be affected by such people. Thus, the first step towards breaking bad relationship habits is having a strong conception of your own identity. Often, we allow people into our lives who treat us as we expect to be treated. So, if you feel contempt for yourself or think very little of yourself, you may pick partners or significant others who reflect this image back to you. Learn to recognise such patterns in your life and pluck them off. There will be anger, resentment, hurt and pain. But, you will be breaking your psychological dependency on other people. Recovering from relationship addiction is a process of acknowledging and then letting go of pain, and finding ways to build a happy life.
OVERCOMING RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION
1) Make your ‘recovery’ the first priority in your life. Look for roots of emotional abuse.
2) Go through your early relationships. Tell yourself that you’re an adult now, in charge of your life. Invest your time in disconnecting from the emotions that have been eating you alive.
3) Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself, i.e., fill in gaps that have made you feel undeserving or bad about yourself.
4) Learn to stop managing and controlling others; by being more focused on your own needs; you will no longer need to seek security from others.
5) Develop your spiritual side, i.e., find out what brings you peace and serenity and commit some time, at least half an hour daily, to that endeavour.
6) Learn not to get hooked into bad relationships.
7) Find a support group of friends who understand the pressures you might be facing.
Consider getting professional help, if need arises."how to Love Exercise Trick" Will Lead to a Healthy Lifestyle!
The New Year is here and already two weeks has passed you by. You swore to yourself that this year would be different. You even got a gym membership and everything. So, why are you still procrastinating? For most people, it is the thought of sweating away all their time on a treadmill that keeps them from starting. What makes the difference for people who can not seem to get enough exercise to achieve a Heallthy Lifestyle?
In order to lead a healthy lifestyle, you have to have a love for exercise. Or, at least a like for it. If exercise is not in your heart, trick yourself so that it is! You can not move toward your goals without a willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve them…and getting started is the most difficult task to overcome. You may not want to do it, but nine times out of ten when a person just gets going, they want to continue.
Here are 4 proven ways to trick yourself into thinking exercise is something you love.
How To Love Exercise Trick #1: Get The Right Nutrition
How is this going to trick myself, you ask? Well, what happens when you provide your body with the right nutrition? You feel healthier and more energetic. This energy usually calls out to you to hit the gym, or even a simple walk around the block without you even knowing it. When you eat poorly, you feel like sitting on the couch and eating even more junk food.
Proper nutrition for me is a soy-based protein drink every morning along with a cup of hot green tea. This gives me nutrition and energy I need to get me through the day without ever even thinking about taking a nap. What’s even better is that green tea has been known to increase metabolism, so the more I drink the more I shrink. (width wise, not length!)
How To Love Exercise Trick #2: Baby Steps
Ease into exercise. Do not start out with a bang or you will burn out just as fast as you started. Take a laid back approach to exercise at first. Make small goals and achieve them every single day. If you have never been a runner but would like to begin, do not try to run 5 miles a day. Start with a half mile and increase it by a half mile each week.
So many people quit exercising after only a week because they over exert themselves and drain too much energy in too little time. Stretch properly to avoid muscle soreness and by all means drink plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated. This little trick of taking baby steps into an exercise program will allow you to enjoy the journey you are taking to good health.
How To Love Exercise Trick #3: Join A Class
Being around others who want to achieve the same goals as yourself will take the edge off your worries about exercise being too much work and not enough fun. Exercise is what you make of it. If you want it fun, make it fun. Think beyond the treadmill and stationary bicycle, and do not worry about the abilities of others. Focus on improving only yourself.
There are many classes that offer activities other than typical exercise that will give you the same benefits. You do not have to run like a hamster for an hour to get a great workout. Remember dancing? How about karate? Even joining a bowling league is more active that sitting on the couch. Just remember to choose a lane far away from the vending machine!
How To Love Exercise Trick #4: Listen To Music Or Watch TV
If you are the type of person who likes to exercise alone but can not seem to get yourself motivated to do so, purchase an IPOD shuffle and download your favorite music to accompany you. There is no better driving force than keeping yourself entertained while you exercise. Your mind will not be focused on the “work” of your work-out, and you will trick yourself into passing the time enjoying yourself without the boredom of silence.
If you can not tear yourself away from your television set, there is no reason you can not exercise during prime time. Gyms are equipped with TV sets, and they will usually let you choose the station you want. Set yourself up for a half hour of treadmill walking or stationary bike riding. The trick here is that you will be so into your tv show you will probably forget you are exercising.
The more you exercise, the less it will become a chore and the more you will love it. Exercise is the only proven “healthy habit,” meaning that is can become addictive so that you will never want to miss a day without it. In order to lead a healthy lifestyle, you must develop the mindset of a person who thinks this way. For some people it comes naturally. If you are someone who sonsiders exercise too much work and not enough play, follow the steps listed about to trick yourself into changing your way of thinking.
In order to lead a healthy lifestyle, you have to have a love for exercise. Or, at least a like for it. If exercise is not in your heart, trick yourself so that it is! You can not move toward your goals without a willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve them…and getting started is the most difficult task to overcome. You may not want to do it, but nine times out of ten when a person just gets going, they want to continue.
Here are 4 proven ways to trick yourself into thinking exercise is something you love.
How To Love Exercise Trick #1: Get The Right Nutrition
How is this going to trick myself, you ask? Well, what happens when you provide your body with the right nutrition? You feel healthier and more energetic. This energy usually calls out to you to hit the gym, or even a simple walk around the block without you even knowing it. When you eat poorly, you feel like sitting on the couch and eating even more junk food.
Proper nutrition for me is a soy-based protein drink every morning along with a cup of hot green tea. This gives me nutrition and energy I need to get me through the day without ever even thinking about taking a nap. What’s even better is that green tea has been known to increase metabolism, so the more I drink the more I shrink. (width wise, not length!)
How To Love Exercise Trick #2: Baby Steps
Ease into exercise. Do not start out with a bang or you will burn out just as fast as you started. Take a laid back approach to exercise at first. Make small goals and achieve them every single day. If you have never been a runner but would like to begin, do not try to run 5 miles a day. Start with a half mile and increase it by a half mile each week.
So many people quit exercising after only a week because they over exert themselves and drain too much energy in too little time. Stretch properly to avoid muscle soreness and by all means drink plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated. This little trick of taking baby steps into an exercise program will allow you to enjoy the journey you are taking to good health.
How To Love Exercise Trick #3: Join A Class
Being around others who want to achieve the same goals as yourself will take the edge off your worries about exercise being too much work and not enough fun. Exercise is what you make of it. If you want it fun, make it fun. Think beyond the treadmill and stationary bicycle, and do not worry about the abilities of others. Focus on improving only yourself.
There are many classes that offer activities other than typical exercise that will give you the same benefits. You do not have to run like a hamster for an hour to get a great workout. Remember dancing? How about karate? Even joining a bowling league is more active that sitting on the couch. Just remember to choose a lane far away from the vending machine!
How To Love Exercise Trick #4: Listen To Music Or Watch TV
If you are the type of person who likes to exercise alone but can not seem to get yourself motivated to do so, purchase an IPOD shuffle and download your favorite music to accompany you. There is no better driving force than keeping yourself entertained while you exercise. Your mind will not be focused on the “work” of your work-out, and you will trick yourself into passing the time enjoying yourself without the boredom of silence.
If you can not tear yourself away from your television set, there is no reason you can not exercise during prime time. Gyms are equipped with TV sets, and they will usually let you choose the station you want. Set yourself up for a half hour of treadmill walking or stationary bike riding. The trick here is that you will be so into your tv show you will probably forget you are exercising.
The more you exercise, the less it will become a chore and the more you will love it. Exercise is the only proven “healthy habit,” meaning that is can become addictive so that you will never want to miss a day without it. In order to lead a healthy lifestyle, you must develop the mindset of a person who thinks this way. For some people it comes naturally. If you are someone who sonsiders exercise too much work and not enough play, follow the steps listed about to trick yourself into changing your way of thinking.
Why Exercise?
I wish I could tell you that I love exercising. Truthfully, I don’t. I didn’t pack on 147 excess pounds because I liked exercising. What I do love is the weight that I now maintain, the health that I feel, and the clarity in my thinking. All of these are possible because of healthy habits that lead to a happier, healthier life.
I’ve struggled with maintaining an exercise routine. My thinking is that for only 30 to 45 minutes a day a few days per week, I get to maintain my weight loss, feel stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. Circumstances don’t hit me and make me feel like a victim of life just waiting. My weight loss has given me that! By exercising for a few minutes out of the 24 hours per day that you are given is a very small investment for the gigantic payoff of a happy life. If only the stock market and our economy would pay off in a big way for such a small investment!
To continue exercising, I need motivation. Through coaching, I was able to come to the realization that 30 to 45 minutes per day a few days a week gives me a happier, healthier life for the 23-1/2 hours in the rest of my day. Now, that’s a major payoff. That’s my motivation. Through coaching, you can find yours too.
Motivation is generated or dismissed in your head. So, here’s some ways to convince your head to get fit, stay fit, and invest in yourself through exercise:
1. Exercise out of the gym. All activity and movement equals exercise. Exercise is a mindset. Rather than drive around for 10 minutes looking for the closest parking space, park in the last row where there are virtually no other cars and walk to your store. You’ll get there quicker, burn less gas and burn more calories. While others are mindlessly standing on the escalator or wasting minutes waiting for the elevator, climb the stairs. Again, you’ll be there while the others are wasting their time and hanging on to calories they could have burned. Look for opportunities to be active. Exercise doesn’t count as exercise if it is within the walls of a gym. Think of exercise as all ways that you move your body.
2. Set an exercise goal. Decide that you’d like to participate in a walk/run event, train for a long distance walk, work with a personal trainer, increase your frequency or duration by a certain time. Give yourself rewards for reaching your exercise goals.
3. Ban boredom. Who wants to exercise if you are bored? Mix it up. One of the most popular television shows is celebrities that are learning ballroom dancing. Many of them have toned and lost impressive amounts of weight. Take dancing lessons to have fun and count as exercise. Other fun forms of exercise can include bowling, snowboarding, Zumba, swimming, water aerobics, walking your dog, or even laser tag. Rather than think of exercise, think about exercise combined with fun. Actual physical activity isn’t boring at all. How you do it though can be. Reframe exercise as exercise combined with fun.
4. Exercise Multi-Tasking. While you’re exercising, watch your favorite recorded television shows or dvd. Listen to audiobooks only while you’re exercising. Load up your iPod or MP3 player with your favorite motivational songs. Listen to those tunes only while you’re exercising. There are video games that you can dance to that definitely work up your heart rate as exercise. You’ll forget your movement counts as exercise because you’ll be having so much fun.
5. The more the merrier - bring a friend. Exercise with a friend, coach or personal trainer. Anyone to make it fun, share the companionship of exercising together plus the bonus of accountability.
6. Turn challenges into successes. Does your vacation give you an excuse to put your exercise routine on hold? Do projects at work derail your workout time? Does weather put the freeze on your regular activity? Deepen your commitment to yourself and exercise routine by looking for opportunities to move. Look for ways to incorporate activity into your vacation, set limits for your work projects, bring your exercise and activities indoors. You’ll strengthen your commitment and exercise muscle into a no-give dedication to your health.
7. Exercise Stars. After you’ve worked out and felt great, write it down. Start a journal or log with your thoughts after a work out. Use images of past successful exercise experiences to remind yourself how great you feel. When motivation is questionable, pull out your notes of past exercise sessions to remind you of those powerful positive feelings.
I can’t say that I’m in love with exercise. I’ve made friends with it and I like it. What I am in love with is my life following weight loss, maintaining my weight, feeling happier, stronger and healthier than ever before in my life. All of that for a mere 30-45 minutes per day? Now, that’s an investment and dividend payoff that gives and gives the other 23-1/2 hours in your day. Exercise is the investment that keeps on giving all through your day. An investment in yourself is the best one of all.
I’ve struggled with maintaining an exercise routine. My thinking is that for only 30 to 45 minutes a day a few days per week, I get to maintain my weight loss, feel stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. Circumstances don’t hit me and make me feel like a victim of life just waiting. My weight loss has given me that! By exercising for a few minutes out of the 24 hours per day that you are given is a very small investment for the gigantic payoff of a happy life. If only the stock market and our economy would pay off in a big way for such a small investment!
To continue exercising, I need motivation. Through coaching, I was able to come to the realization that 30 to 45 minutes per day a few days a week gives me a happier, healthier life for the 23-1/2 hours in the rest of my day. Now, that’s a major payoff. That’s my motivation. Through coaching, you can find yours too.
Motivation is generated or dismissed in your head. So, here’s some ways to convince your head to get fit, stay fit, and invest in yourself through exercise:
1. Exercise out of the gym. All activity and movement equals exercise. Exercise is a mindset. Rather than drive around for 10 minutes looking for the closest parking space, park in the last row where there are virtually no other cars and walk to your store. You’ll get there quicker, burn less gas and burn more calories. While others are mindlessly standing on the escalator or wasting minutes waiting for the elevator, climb the stairs. Again, you’ll be there while the others are wasting their time and hanging on to calories they could have burned. Look for opportunities to be active. Exercise doesn’t count as exercise if it is within the walls of a gym. Think of exercise as all ways that you move your body.
2. Set an exercise goal. Decide that you’d like to participate in a walk/run event, train for a long distance walk, work with a personal trainer, increase your frequency or duration by a certain time. Give yourself rewards for reaching your exercise goals.
3. Ban boredom. Who wants to exercise if you are bored? Mix it up. One of the most popular television shows is celebrities that are learning ballroom dancing. Many of them have toned and lost impressive amounts of weight. Take dancing lessons to have fun and count as exercise. Other fun forms of exercise can include bowling, snowboarding, Zumba, swimming, water aerobics, walking your dog, or even laser tag. Rather than think of exercise, think about exercise combined with fun. Actual physical activity isn’t boring at all. How you do it though can be. Reframe exercise as exercise combined with fun.
4. Exercise Multi-Tasking. While you’re exercising, watch your favorite recorded television shows or dvd. Listen to audiobooks only while you’re exercising. Load up your iPod or MP3 player with your favorite motivational songs. Listen to those tunes only while you’re exercising. There are video games that you can dance to that definitely work up your heart rate as exercise. You’ll forget your movement counts as exercise because you’ll be having so much fun.
5. The more the merrier - bring a friend. Exercise with a friend, coach or personal trainer. Anyone to make it fun, share the companionship of exercising together plus the bonus of accountability.
6. Turn challenges into successes. Does your vacation give you an excuse to put your exercise routine on hold? Do projects at work derail your workout time? Does weather put the freeze on your regular activity? Deepen your commitment to yourself and exercise routine by looking for opportunities to move. Look for ways to incorporate activity into your vacation, set limits for your work projects, bring your exercise and activities indoors. You’ll strengthen your commitment and exercise muscle into a no-give dedication to your health.
7. Exercise Stars. After you’ve worked out and felt great, write it down. Start a journal or log with your thoughts after a work out. Use images of past successful exercise experiences to remind yourself how great you feel. When motivation is questionable, pull out your notes of past exercise sessions to remind you of those powerful positive feelings.
I can’t say that I’m in love with exercise. I’ve made friends with it and I like it. What I am in love with is my life following weight loss, maintaining my weight, feeling happier, stronger and healthier than ever before in my life. All of that for a mere 30-45 minutes per day? Now, that’s an investment and dividend payoff that gives and gives the other 23-1/2 hours in your day. Exercise is the investment that keeps on giving all through your day. An investment in yourself is the best one of all.
Exercise Plans - How to Create the One for You!
Do you have an exercise plan? Do you own any exercise equipment? Perhaps a treadmill, an exercise bike, or any of the gazillion exercise machines advertised on infomercials over the last 10 or 20 years? I think we’ve all been sold at one time or another on something to make exercising easier… or so we thought. And that’s good! Having the desire to look better, feel better and implementing a good exercise plan can help us to reach those goals and also help us to keep our weight under control. And those are just a few of the benefits of exercise. When we perform an exercise routine regularly we begin to not only look and feel better… we even sleep better. When you get right down to it I think we all know that a good exercise plan is part of a healthy lifestyle.
I often hear people ask “What is the best exercise?” And the answer to that question is the one you like the most. Why? Because that’s the one your more likely to do! For many people, just one exercise would not be enough because although we all want to be in good shape and the proper weight, we all have different fitness goals… but for others, one exercise performed consistently and regularly provides all the benefits mentioned above and then some!
So… how many exercise plans do you need to receive all of the exercise benefits described above? One! That’s right… just one! And how many exercises do you need to do? That will depend on your particular fitness goals… your likes and dislikes… but the first question I encourage you to ask yourself is “What one exercise do I like the most? That answer will get you started on a good exercise plan.
Now…
Did you know that how often you exercise is the single most important factor in whether you: • reach your weight loss goals • will be satisfied with your results • will feel good about your progress
You could own every piece of exercise equipment ever advertised on an infomercial, from an exercise bike to an exercise ball and every exercise machine in between, but if you’re not going to use them, then your exercise plan will never succeed. Now I’m not saying that you need to own exercise equipment to be in shape. There are many people who are in excellent condition who own nothing more then a pair of Nikes. If you get just one thing from reading this, understand that your fitness level is directly related to the frequency in which you exercise.
It doesn’t matter if you know how to do every imaginable abdominal exercise, dumbbell exercise, aerobic exercise, tricep, deltoid or backside exercise. The important thing is how often you do them!
I challenge you right now to base your exercise plan on frequency, and I promise you will be much more successful. Whether your exercise plan consists of 20 different exercises or one… please remember this.
Now I don’t want you to get carried away. There’s more to life than just exercising… much more. All I’m saying is when you set about creating an exercise plan, the frequency of exercise is crucial. So as you create your exercise plan answer these two questions: 1) What one exercise do I enjoy the most? Even if you currently hate all exercise… there must be one that you like or hate less than the others. 2) And secondly, how often can I sincerely do this?
Answer those two questions and your exercise plan will be off to a great start!
I often hear people ask “What is the best exercise?” And the answer to that question is the one you like the most. Why? Because that’s the one your more likely to do! For many people, just one exercise would not be enough because although we all want to be in good shape and the proper weight, we all have different fitness goals… but for others, one exercise performed consistently and regularly provides all the benefits mentioned above and then some!
So… how many exercise plans do you need to receive all of the exercise benefits described above? One! That’s right… just one! And how many exercises do you need to do? That will depend on your particular fitness goals… your likes and dislikes… but the first question I encourage you to ask yourself is “What one exercise do I like the most? That answer will get you started on a good exercise plan.
Now…
Did you know that how often you exercise is the single most important factor in whether you: • reach your weight loss goals • will be satisfied with your results • will feel good about your progress
You could own every piece of exercise equipment ever advertised on an infomercial, from an exercise bike to an exercise ball and every exercise machine in between, but if you’re not going to use them, then your exercise plan will never succeed. Now I’m not saying that you need to own exercise equipment to be in shape. There are many people who are in excellent condition who own nothing more then a pair of Nikes. If you get just one thing from reading this, understand that your fitness level is directly related to the frequency in which you exercise.
It doesn’t matter if you know how to do every imaginable abdominal exercise, dumbbell exercise, aerobic exercise, tricep, deltoid or backside exercise. The important thing is how often you do them!
I challenge you right now to base your exercise plan on frequency, and I promise you will be much more successful. Whether your exercise plan consists of 20 different exercises or one… please remember this.
Now I don’t want you to get carried away. There’s more to life than just exercising… much more. All I’m saying is when you set about creating an exercise plan, the frequency of exercise is crucial. So as you create your exercise plan answer these two questions: 1) What one exercise do I enjoy the most? Even if you currently hate all exercise… there must be one that you like or hate less than the others. 2) And secondly, how often can I sincerely do this?
Answer those two questions and your exercise plan will be off to a great start!
Index Funds (and Etfs) Vs. Mutual Funds
Intended Audience
For those of you deciding where to put excess cash or retirement savings.
Summary Points to Take Away
Three points to consider on why market index funds will outperform actively managed mutual funds: (1) Strong performance by a mutual fund will see an influx of cash that increases the asset base – bringing down the return in terms of %; (2) Options for fund managers with new influxes of cash are sparse - Higher cash can be invested in current well performing asset positions would push them into being overvalued; or could invest it into stocks that were not deemed strong enough investments in the first place. (3) SEC limits the % ownership a mutual fund can have in a stock; thus, with more cash, more positions in more stocks have to be taken; thus, the fund becomes more representative of the market. Actively managed mutual funds become glorified index funds, which charge higher fees; thus, fail to beat market index benchmarks (ex. S&P 500). Investing in market index funds gives you growth and diversification, which most actively managed mutual funds promise you in the first place, so might as well skip the middle man (i.e. the highly paid investment team hired to manage your money).
Analysis
Common saying on Wall Street is that “most mutual fund managers can’t outperform the market” –measured by comparing the fund return to representative benchmarks (ex. S&P 500). Looking into the logic of this statement – there appears to be some truth to it.
Before we go on, please note the two investing options being compared within this article: (1) Actively managed mutual funds have well qualified (and expensive) professionals making investment decisions usually with specific themes (i.e. specializing in base metals or Asian Pacific stocks), because of this – the management fee to the investor is typically 2% of the total asset base given the highly skilled investment team that are managing the assets. (2) Passively managed mutual funds or ETFs –have the mandate of tracking the performance of the general movement in the market (ex. If Citigroup presents 2% of the S&P500, then the passively managed fund that is tracking the index would hold 2% of Citigroup). Since there is no detailed financial analysis, etc – the fund is run by a skeleton team; thus, a lower fee is charged to investors (ranging from 0 to 1% of total assets).
Why it is that mutual fund manager can’t outperform the market?
(1) Strong performance by a mutual fund will see an influx of cash that increases the asset base. This appears to be a logical conclusion since as mutual fund posts a gain higher than the market it’ll catch the average investors attention, which will flood the fund with excess cash with the hopes that history will repeat itself. More cash equals a larger asset base. Let’s assume that the fund receives additional cash that doubles their current asset base; thus, the team will have to identify enough investment opportunities to bring double the prior year gains incurred in order to provide the same performance year over year. If the cash isn’t invested – then the return would be cut in half as the gain in terms of dollars stays the same but the asset based used to generate that gain has doubled – this puts mutual fund managers into a tough position.
(2) With the new founded cash – what options do the fund managers have, they can either take the cash and invest it in the funds current holdings, which have performed well over the year; thus, pushing these stocks to levels where they’ll be considered overvalued; or they could take the new cash and invest it in stocks that were not deemed strong enough investments in the first place. Similar to the point above – opportunities are a finite constraint; thus, with more cash – less optimal opportunities have to be utilized as the fund eventually runs out of investment options with further increases in cash to play with.
(3) SEC limits the % ownership a mutual fund can have in a stock; thus, with more cash, more positions in more stocks have to be taken. Given that funds can only invest so much into each stock identified, more worthy investments would need to be identified in order to put the new cash into play. Eventually with enough influxes in cash – the fund must purchase a large basket of diverse stocks, which will essentially track the market; thus, becoming a glorified index funds them.
Given that the pre-fee return of passively and actively managed funds is expected to be the same, passively managed funds (i.e. market index funds or ETFs) will outperform actively managed funds due to the lower management fees. This is assumed in the long run as for every year the fund outperforms the market it will see an increase in cash from investors flowing into the funds, which will continue to lead the fund into purchasing numerous holdings resulting in a diverse basket of funds; thus, becoming an overpriced index fund inadvertently.
Where to go from here?
For those of you with RRSP, 401K’s or discretionary saving plans or if you’re planning on staring up a savings fund – consider moving from actively managed mutual funds to ETF’s or passively managed index funds that track the market or passively managed index funds with your local asset management firm or financial institution. Market index funds will prove to be the winner.
THANKS,
SIMON GIANNAKIS
For those of you deciding where to put excess cash or retirement savings.
Summary Points to Take Away
Three points to consider on why market index funds will outperform actively managed mutual funds: (1) Strong performance by a mutual fund will see an influx of cash that increases the asset base – bringing down the return in terms of %; (2) Options for fund managers with new influxes of cash are sparse - Higher cash can be invested in current well performing asset positions would push them into being overvalued; or could invest it into stocks that were not deemed strong enough investments in the first place. (3) SEC limits the % ownership a mutual fund can have in a stock; thus, with more cash, more positions in more stocks have to be taken; thus, the fund becomes more representative of the market. Actively managed mutual funds become glorified index funds, which charge higher fees; thus, fail to beat market index benchmarks (ex. S&P 500). Investing in market index funds gives you growth and diversification, which most actively managed mutual funds promise you in the first place, so might as well skip the middle man (i.e. the highly paid investment team hired to manage your money).
Analysis
Common saying on Wall Street is that “most mutual fund managers can’t outperform the market” –measured by comparing the fund return to representative benchmarks (ex. S&P 500). Looking into the logic of this statement – there appears to be some truth to it.
Before we go on, please note the two investing options being compared within this article: (1) Actively managed mutual funds have well qualified (and expensive) professionals making investment decisions usually with specific themes (i.e. specializing in base metals or Asian Pacific stocks), because of this – the management fee to the investor is typically 2% of the total asset base given the highly skilled investment team that are managing the assets. (2) Passively managed mutual funds or ETFs –have the mandate of tracking the performance of the general movement in the market (ex. If Citigroup presents 2% of the S&P500, then the passively managed fund that is tracking the index would hold 2% of Citigroup). Since there is no detailed financial analysis, etc – the fund is run by a skeleton team; thus, a lower fee is charged to investors (ranging from 0 to 1% of total assets).
Why it is that mutual fund manager can’t outperform the market?
(1) Strong performance by a mutual fund will see an influx of cash that increases the asset base. This appears to be a logical conclusion since as mutual fund posts a gain higher than the market it’ll catch the average investors attention, which will flood the fund with excess cash with the hopes that history will repeat itself. More cash equals a larger asset base. Let’s assume that the fund receives additional cash that doubles their current asset base; thus, the team will have to identify enough investment opportunities to bring double the prior year gains incurred in order to provide the same performance year over year. If the cash isn’t invested – then the return would be cut in half as the gain in terms of dollars stays the same but the asset based used to generate that gain has doubled – this puts mutual fund managers into a tough position.
(2) With the new founded cash – what options do the fund managers have, they can either take the cash and invest it in the funds current holdings, which have performed well over the year; thus, pushing these stocks to levels where they’ll be considered overvalued; or they could take the new cash and invest it in stocks that were not deemed strong enough investments in the first place. Similar to the point above – opportunities are a finite constraint; thus, with more cash – less optimal opportunities have to be utilized as the fund eventually runs out of investment options with further increases in cash to play with.
(3) SEC limits the % ownership a mutual fund can have in a stock; thus, with more cash, more positions in more stocks have to be taken. Given that funds can only invest so much into each stock identified, more worthy investments would need to be identified in order to put the new cash into play. Eventually with enough influxes in cash – the fund must purchase a large basket of diverse stocks, which will essentially track the market; thus, becoming a glorified index funds them.
Given that the pre-fee return of passively and actively managed funds is expected to be the same, passively managed funds (i.e. market index funds or ETFs) will outperform actively managed funds due to the lower management fees. This is assumed in the long run as for every year the fund outperforms the market it will see an increase in cash from investors flowing into the funds, which will continue to lead the fund into purchasing numerous holdings resulting in a diverse basket of funds; thus, becoming an overpriced index fund inadvertently.
Where to go from here?
For those of you with RRSP, 401K’s or discretionary saving plans or if you’re planning on staring up a savings fund – consider moving from actively managed mutual funds to ETF’s or passively managed index funds that track the market or passively managed index funds with your local asset management firm or financial institution. Market index funds will prove to be the winner.
THANKS,
SIMON GIANNAKIS
How to Save a Relationship - 5 Steps to Save Your Relationship
You are here because you are wondering how to save a relationship, your relationship. Maybe one or both of you works long hours. Maybe one or both of you feels neglected. Maybe infidelity is involved. No matter, the question is how to save the relationship. Here are 5 important steps on how to save your relationship…
Step 1 - Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?
The first thing you must do is figure out if your relationship is really worth saving. Now, it is true that nearly every relationship can be saved with hard work and commitment from both parties in the relationship. But, both parties must be committed to make it work. If one does not commit to it, then there is little that can be done to save the relationship. And many couples stay in a relationship because it is convenient / easier to do, or, stay because of the children.
How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is really worth saving and not just for the children (although this is important) or convenience sake.
Step 2 - Identify The Root Problem(s) In Your Relationship
Next, you must figure out the problem(s) in your relationship. And I mean the root problem, not the symptom(s). One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people generally mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself. For example, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes break ups. But the affair is a usually a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying partner, who otherwise might not have strayed. While most people look at the ‘affair’ as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair is the ‘lack of intimacy’ in the primary relationship. True, you might be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of ‘guilt’, but another problem could occur simply because you have not dealt with the root problem, the lack of intimacy.
This is only one example, but when you start to deal with the root problems in your relationship and not the symptoms, then your relationship can be saved.
Step 3 - Communicate Effectively
Having pinpointed the root problem(s), you should now be in a much better position to begin to share your thoughts with each other. This means listening to your partner’s concerns, as well as verbalizing your own feelings and concerns. You can hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are all over the place.
And remember that, when your partner says things that may hurt you, they are not doing it to hurt you, but because they want to improve your relationship. This is a very important part of the healing process, so keep your head and do not let your emotions run away with you.
Step 4 - Create An Action Plan
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an agreed actionable plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to do, then arrange one night a week for example. And take turns coming up with creative ways to spend that evening together over the weeks. If it is not possible at this stage to spend an evening together, then agree to commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.
Step 5 - Accept That Saving A Relationship Is An Ongoing Process
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. And be patient.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to begin to save your relationship using 5 important first steps. But as with most things in life, but especially in a relationship, there are still many obstacles to overcome. If these are not handled right all your good work can be for nothing, and you may never experience the ‘magic of making up’.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to begin to save your relationship using 5 important first steps. But as with most things in life, but especially in a relationship, there are still many obstacles to overcome. If these are not handled right all your good work can be for nothing, and you may never experience the ‘magic of making up’.
Now, if you are still certain that you want to save your relationship then go here http://how-to-get-your-ex-back-using-magic.blogspot.com where you will get more free advice on video and some important info. on more advanced techniques on how to save your relationship.
Step 1 - Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?
The first thing you must do is figure out if your relationship is really worth saving. Now, it is true that nearly every relationship can be saved with hard work and commitment from both parties in the relationship. But, both parties must be committed to make it work. If one does not commit to it, then there is little that can be done to save the relationship. And many couples stay in a relationship because it is convenient / easier to do, or, stay because of the children.
How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is really worth saving and not just for the children (although this is important) or convenience sake.
Step 2 - Identify The Root Problem(s) In Your Relationship
Next, you must figure out the problem(s) in your relationship. And I mean the root problem, not the symptom(s). One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people generally mistake the symptoms of the problem for the problem itself. For example, many people think that an affair is a problem that causes break ups. But the affair is a usually a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying partner, who otherwise might not have strayed. While most people look at the ‘affair’ as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair is the ‘lack of intimacy’ in the primary relationship. True, you might be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of ‘guilt’, but another problem could occur simply because you have not dealt with the root problem, the lack of intimacy.
This is only one example, but when you start to deal with the root problems in your relationship and not the symptoms, then your relationship can be saved.
Step 3 - Communicate Effectively
Having pinpointed the root problem(s), you should now be in a much better position to begin to share your thoughts with each other. This means listening to your partner’s concerns, as well as verbalizing your own feelings and concerns. You can hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are all over the place.
And remember that, when your partner says things that may hurt you, they are not doing it to hurt you, but because they want to improve your relationship. This is a very important part of the healing process, so keep your head and do not let your emotions run away with you.
Step 4 - Create An Action Plan
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an agreed actionable plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to do, then arrange one night a week for example. And take turns coming up with creative ways to spend that evening together over the weeks. If it is not possible at this stage to spend an evening together, then agree to commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.
Step 5 - Accept That Saving A Relationship Is An Ongoing Process
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. And be patient.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to begin to save your relationship using 5 important first steps. But as with most things in life, but especially in a relationship, there are still many obstacles to overcome. If these are not handled right all your good work can be for nothing, and you may never experience the ‘magic of making up’.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to begin to save your relationship using 5 important first steps. But as with most things in life, but especially in a relationship, there are still many obstacles to overcome. If these are not handled right all your good work can be for nothing, and you may never experience the ‘magic of making up’.
Now, if you are still certain that you want to save your relationship then go here http://how-to-get-your-ex-back-using-magic.blogspot.com where you will get more free advice on video and some important info. on more advanced techniques on how to save your relationship.
Get Started Exercising Now
So you’re overweight, “fat”–to be honest–and you want to start exercising. Before you take off like an overlarge airplane and start preparing for the Olympics trials, stop right there.
You may have it all figured out by now, after checking with your friends, the media and finally that fickle fiend known as the bathroom mirror, that a regular exercise program is the only way to fly when it comes to permanent weight loss. That entails working out or otherwise flexing your physical and psychological muscles on a regular basis, perhaps three times a week, or maybe even once per day.
But therein lies the rub. How do you get started? How often do you exercise? Most importantly, if you’ve been very sedate or at least somewhat off your feet for awhile, what’s the safest way to begin an effective, weight-loss centered exercise program?
Beginning a Righteous Program - Realistically
First of all, follow the old saw about consulting with your doctor. Don’t start thinking you can just begin running around the block. That’s why the medical profession exists, to advise and keep you safe. Your doctor will recommend specific types of exercise tailored to fit your own individual lifestyle, personal health needs and concerns. But you don’t need to make it entirely clinical when you begin an exercise program.
Most importantly, you need to pick something you’re going to stick with. What do you like in the way of sports? If you’re people-oriented, you should look into joining a team sports program of some kind in your area, one created for adult participation. You can look for a local softball league, take a beginning aerobics class at a fitness center, or play regular games of basketball at a gym with your buddies. And then there’s golf, the perennial favorite of people who want to perform fun and interesting mild exercise. All you have to do is motivate yourself and perhaps some friends to get started. Or if you’re a loner, you can take up an individualized sport such as bicycle touring, which can also be done in small groups, or laps swimming at your community pool.
And if you like to be around a humungous amount of people, how about mall-walking, one of the latest in adult and family mild fitness trends, or the more traditional act of partner dancing, which you can do at all kinds of gathering places such as local taverns, senior centers, community halls and social clubs. There’s an almost infinite number of places you can go and groups you can join. Just pick one, and remember to start out with a breezy, fun and easygoing attitude. You’re not punishing yourself; you’re picking up on a lifelong habit of moving your body for health purposes. You’ll feel better, look fitter and maybe meet new people while you’re dropping those needless extra pounds.
But be realistic, and work with your doctor. You want to aim for something fun that you’ll keep committing to doing regularly. If it’s something you hate, perhaps such as running on a track, climbing stairs or using what seems to you to be boring exercise equipment, forget it! Don’t spend all your money on something you can’t keep doing because you feel guilty, or think you have to punish yourself into exercising. Be sure you like what you’re going to do before you get started. Simply walking around the block is a very inexpensive and potentially fun way to go from a sedentary state to a beginning new level of much better health and fitness. You must start with something easy and simple if you haven’t been exercising for decades, and you should gradually increase your level of activity as you feel comfortable with it. Move by inches, not by miles.
Are you a morning or an evening person? If you’re the former, plan to work out in the morning, and if you wake up later in the day, do your routine more near twilight. Also, as your doctor will tell you, start with a small window of time, perhaps only fifteen minutes at first, and slowly increase it every other day or so. In order to achieve a higher level of fitness and to lose weight, you must perform whatever exercise you choose at least three to four times a week. This is better at first than every day, as a rest may be needed between workouts to give your aching muscles a chance to soothe themselves and heal before you bravely saunter forth again or head back merrily to the gym.
Eventually, you can try exercising every single day, anywhere from twenty minutes to a full hour. But especially at first–and that may be for several months–don’t push yourself too hard. Don’t go all out, and get frustrated because you can’t keep it up. You don’t have to be a college athlete, and you can seriously hurt your heart by pushing too hard or overdoing it. Remember, you’re doing this for fun, for health reasons and to feel good about yourself. Don’t try to become an “athlete” unless you think that will be something you’ll want to commit to on a much more rigorous schedule. Later!
Easy Exercise Comes - Naturally
Americans tend to think of exercise as more their duty than as a part of their culture, or “way of life.” But it’s a true lifestyle preference. Throughout the world, many forms of regular exercise are taking hold of whole general populations. Take walking, for example. In Europe, people are flocking to their local well-developed public hiking trails, and there’s quite a few of those spread across the USA as well. Walking of a moderate type is called Volkssport in Europe, and it’s really been around for many centuries.
Easy-going exercise such as walking continues to stave off heart disease, osteoporosis, high cholesterol and many types of cancer, as well as taking care of most of your belly flab. It doesn’t sound like much, but it will really tighten your whole body up. Your legs will especially benefit, and your buns will automatically grow firmer as you stroll. Not to mention that the worst investment you need to make is a pair of comfy, sturdy sensible shoes, preferably made of leather or canvas with rubber soles.
You may think that yoga is some uncomfortable form of Eastern self-punishment and mysticism, but it’s not. Yoga is great for toning your body, as it’s extremely gentle when done correctly. It combines traditional breathing and relaxation techniques with simple stretching. It’s good to use yoga during a weight-loss program when you’re sedentary, as it’s very easy on your body, you don’t have to repeat the same exercises every day, and it requires a minimal time commitment.
Yoga can be used in conjunction with a more rigorous exercise program to help maintain your overall state of fitness. “Yoga doesn’t take over your life, it enhances it,” says Alice Cristensen, founder and executive director of the American Yoga Association.
Continuing Your Program - Goals and Motivation
Okay, so you’ve gotten started, but what does all this have to do with watching your weight? To keep on schedule with this as your original goal, you also have to keep that commitment to lose enough poundage to be a healthy, happy and physically fit person.
First of all, you have to figure out exactly what you’re expecting to accomplish. Are you looking for optimal health, or do you really want to fit into slinky clothes better? Either way, you’re going to have to set goals and try to attain them as you go. It helps to clearly keep in mind what you’re aiming for, and it helps to visualize yourself at your ideal weight several times a day. This image impresses itself upon your subconscious and inwardly motivates you to continue your program with a bulldog’s sheer tenacity and motivation. You want that; whatever happens, you don’t want to stress out and quit. Try looking at old photographs of yourself at your ideal weight and picturing realistically what you’ll look like when you’re back there again. Don’t expect the Fountain of Youth, but you’d be shocked how close you can get to your mental picture, and how good you’re going to feel as you move your body, eat less liberally and become fit and not fat.
Also, you should make a brief list of the five major reasons you’re embarking on an exercise and weight-loss program. Do you want to bring down your blood pressure? Does being fat make you feel too old? Do you want to attract someone new in your life? When you sit in your car, does your stomach practically turn the steering wheel? Make it a point to carry this list with you wherever you go, and when you get in the mood to quit and give up, whip it out and read it aloud, saying to yourself that this is what you really want.
You must also remember to keep it simple when you’re losing weight. In most cases, burning more calories than you ingest is the biggest concern. You have to expend approximately 3,500 calories to lose one pound of adipose fat tissue. Water weight doesn’t count, and that’s what a lot of people lose at first. Also, the important thing about exercise is that you can eat almost normally and still lose the weight at a healthy and reasonable pace. If you don’t exercise and try to lose weight, you’ll be tempted to embark on a starvation diet. This has been shown to make you lose lean muscle mass instead of fat in most cases, and although you’ll drop some pounds, they may be the wrongest ones. Chances are that if you’re unfit while you’re losing weight, you’ll get physically tired, sleep less, become overly emotional, and stress out and become extremely irritable. It simply isn’t healthy to do it that way, so you need at least a moderate exercise program.
Try keeping a journal of your progress every day, and consult with it when you want to know how far along you’ve come. You can also use it to gauge how you’re doing, and whether or not you’re losing weight at a reasonable pace. Congratulate yourself every time you ate the right thing, kept to your walking schedule, or didn’t give in to temptation that day by making a brief note about it. Read the journal to inspire you about what you’re doing whenever you feel the urge to let go.
Meanwhile, as you chart your progress, take the time to reward yourself for everything you’re doing right. Ignore occasional slipups, and don’t let them bother you. Move on and motivate yourself by going to a movie, taking a break from work, going to the beach or whatever floats your boat. Don’t reward yourself with food, ever! Find other methods of loving life and use them. Treating yourself manifests your brain’s reward system and keeps you striving toward your goals.
Don’t forget to share any successes or failures with your friends and family. Tell them all about how proud you are of the new lifestyle choices you’re making, and share in their enthusiasm. They want you to be healthy and go on living, and so do you. But some of them may worry that you’re starving yourself or are in a state of denial. Reassure them, and proceed carefully with your healthy diet and exercise plans, while always knowing that it’s exactly what you need to do to look better, feel stronger and live longer.
Easy Dieting Tips to Live By - Starting Now
• Never eat after 7 pm. Studies prove that your body’s metabolism begins to shut down in the early evening. It needed fuel to function earlier, but at night you’re getting yourself ready to fall asleep. Eat the bulk of your daily food intake around noon–that’s when you’re burning the most calories. But if you work nights, do it the other way around, of course. It’s not the time of day that’s important; it’s the fact that your body is well-adjusted to a cycle where it doesn’t burn many calories before and during bedtime.
• Americans are used to eating super-sized meals, so learn to limit your portion size. Eat smaller meals five or six times a day instead of the standard three huge ones, and grab healthy snacks like vegetables, fruits and yogurt in-between. You want to prevent any binging or “pigging out” that could occur. Eat modestly, but often, and be sure to drink plenty of healthy fluids–mostly, pure cool water.
• Limit your intake of saturated fats, sugars and any other substances in food proven to add empty calories to your daily diet. Don’t drink any pop or sodas at all as they’re very bad for you generally, being full of chemicals. Diet sodas tempt you into drinking the sugary ones, and all soda pop robs water from your system and makes you thirstier. That can lead to eating more food.
• Eat lots of vegetables and fruits. You might want to go easy on some of the higher-calorie fruits such as starchy bananas, and don’t eat lots of high-fat avocados. But in general veggies are a dieter’s best friend. You might want to always eat your veggies with some meat protein to curb any histamines that might ravage your system and make it harder for you to breathe. Also, eating plenty of veggies kills the hunger signals from your brain, due to their sheer bulk and fiber. And the nutrients in fruits and veggies will increase your physical strength. Eat your spinach!
• Also eat lots of whole grains, which provide antioxidants that fight cancer and help you feel satisfied in a manner similar to that of eating veggies. But whole grains are even more filling, and help you digest your food. You want to eat plenty of fibrous foods, plus drinking lots of water, to flush toxins left over in your body from the dieting completely out of your system.
• Take a healthy multivitamin. Don’t go overboard and try to take everything, because some of the substances we need interact non-positively and can cause chemical imbalances. Consult with your doctor and see what’s recommended nowadays. One good wholistic multivitamin and mineral supplement–not a megadose of potentially harmful chemicals–can improve your skin, hair, overall appearance in general, and also your chances of managing on a little bit less food.
Lastly - Remember This
Please remain consistently aware of one thing: these are radical, life-changing choices that you’re making each day and night, and you’ve got to stick with them. Not everyone else in the world is going to live this way, but many people are and it’s a sensational start! Think that you really have no choice, if you want to go on living for many long years and be vibrant, strong and healthy. Realize that your loved ones truly need you, and that the right thing to do is to take the best possible care of yourself. Tell yourself that with honest compassion, every single waking moment of your entire life.
SIDEBARS
First sidebar: Please Make Your Kids Exercise!
America’s children are routinely both terribly inactive and physically unfit, which means the USA will face ever-increasing health care costs, reduced workplace productivity and a more restricted and undesirable quality of life.
Nowadays, TV, computers and their accompanying video games are replacing the physical sports and activities children used to play that enabled them to frequently exercise. Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes are becoming hideously prevalent among today’s modern kids. Fitness has become an anachronism for many of us, and we must continuously strive to get our children moving, running and laughing with each other before they succumb completely to unhealthy lifestyle patterns.
Researchers have found an existing relationship between the amount of TV watched and a child’s accumulated body fat. A healthy diet and vigorous exercise are needed as much by our nation’s children as they are by their sedentary and underactive parents. You should know exactly what’s appropriate for your child and how to instill the fun and repetitive behaviors that create a lifetime of pleasure and good health. And you must become a lasting, visible role model by demonstrating these capabilities outwardly, or they won’t take hold with your child.
There are basically two types of exercise the experts want you to consider. Aerobic exercise burns fat, and it can be very fun and involving for all ages. It causes rapid increases in your child’s breathing and heart rates, and must be performed over at least a twenty-minute time period. It takes that long for your child’s body to start burning its stored fat reserves. Aerobic exercise includes most team sports such as basketball, soccer, hockey, rowing, swimming, and running. It also includes individual sports such as bicycling, cross-country skiing, jogging, karate, rollerblading, tennis, and fast walking. (Continued on next page)
Second sidebar: Please Make Your Kids Exercise! (Continued)
Anaerobic exercise causes a short burst of exertion followed by a brief rest, and tends to develop stronger muscles. It complements the fat-burning aerobic exercise. This includes weight training and strength training, such as that done with free weights or standing equipment, and standard “training” exercises like pushups, crunches, pull-ups and other such floor exercises.
Most healthy children have little trouble working out on a twenty to thirty minutes, three to four times a week basis. But if your child is overweight and sedentary, he or she needs to begin on a similar schedule to that of a sedentary adult. You mustn’t let your child overdo it, either! Use the talk-sing rule. If while exercising, your child cannot sing but can still talk, he or she is moving around at a proper rate of pace.
Children need to imitate their parents and older siblings, and that means you must personally take on physical activities in front of them. Use family participation to stress the rules of active fitness, stressing variety, freedom and joy. Avoid overly regimented and competitive activities, and show your kids that being active is fun. Plan outings that involve long walks, such as going to the zoo or a national park, and encourage them to play extended outdoor games and easygoing supervised organized sports.
Our children are the blue-ribbon prizes of a well-lived existence, and need to be taught a lifelong appreciation of good diet and physical fitness. How can we idly sit by and take no action when the quality and decency of their lives is what’s truly at stake?
You may have it all figured out by now, after checking with your friends, the media and finally that fickle fiend known as the bathroom mirror, that a regular exercise program is the only way to fly when it comes to permanent weight loss. That entails working out or otherwise flexing your physical and psychological muscles on a regular basis, perhaps three times a week, or maybe even once per day.
But therein lies the rub. How do you get started? How often do you exercise? Most importantly, if you’ve been very sedate or at least somewhat off your feet for awhile, what’s the safest way to begin an effective, weight-loss centered exercise program?
Beginning a Righteous Program - Realistically
First of all, follow the old saw about consulting with your doctor. Don’t start thinking you can just begin running around the block. That’s why the medical profession exists, to advise and keep you safe. Your doctor will recommend specific types of exercise tailored to fit your own individual lifestyle, personal health needs and concerns. But you don’t need to make it entirely clinical when you begin an exercise program.
Most importantly, you need to pick something you’re going to stick with. What do you like in the way of sports? If you’re people-oriented, you should look into joining a team sports program of some kind in your area, one created for adult participation. You can look for a local softball league, take a beginning aerobics class at a fitness center, or play regular games of basketball at a gym with your buddies. And then there’s golf, the perennial favorite of people who want to perform fun and interesting mild exercise. All you have to do is motivate yourself and perhaps some friends to get started. Or if you’re a loner, you can take up an individualized sport such as bicycle touring, which can also be done in small groups, or laps swimming at your community pool.
And if you like to be around a humungous amount of people, how about mall-walking, one of the latest in adult and family mild fitness trends, or the more traditional act of partner dancing, which you can do at all kinds of gathering places such as local taverns, senior centers, community halls and social clubs. There’s an almost infinite number of places you can go and groups you can join. Just pick one, and remember to start out with a breezy, fun and easygoing attitude. You’re not punishing yourself; you’re picking up on a lifelong habit of moving your body for health purposes. You’ll feel better, look fitter and maybe meet new people while you’re dropping those needless extra pounds.
But be realistic, and work with your doctor. You want to aim for something fun that you’ll keep committing to doing regularly. If it’s something you hate, perhaps such as running on a track, climbing stairs or using what seems to you to be boring exercise equipment, forget it! Don’t spend all your money on something you can’t keep doing because you feel guilty, or think you have to punish yourself into exercising. Be sure you like what you’re going to do before you get started. Simply walking around the block is a very inexpensive and potentially fun way to go from a sedentary state to a beginning new level of much better health and fitness. You must start with something easy and simple if you haven’t been exercising for decades, and you should gradually increase your level of activity as you feel comfortable with it. Move by inches, not by miles.
Are you a morning or an evening person? If you’re the former, plan to work out in the morning, and if you wake up later in the day, do your routine more near twilight. Also, as your doctor will tell you, start with a small window of time, perhaps only fifteen minutes at first, and slowly increase it every other day or so. In order to achieve a higher level of fitness and to lose weight, you must perform whatever exercise you choose at least three to four times a week. This is better at first than every day, as a rest may be needed between workouts to give your aching muscles a chance to soothe themselves and heal before you bravely saunter forth again or head back merrily to the gym.
Eventually, you can try exercising every single day, anywhere from twenty minutes to a full hour. But especially at first–and that may be for several months–don’t push yourself too hard. Don’t go all out, and get frustrated because you can’t keep it up. You don’t have to be a college athlete, and you can seriously hurt your heart by pushing too hard or overdoing it. Remember, you’re doing this for fun, for health reasons and to feel good about yourself. Don’t try to become an “athlete” unless you think that will be something you’ll want to commit to on a much more rigorous schedule. Later!
Easy Exercise Comes - Naturally
Americans tend to think of exercise as more their duty than as a part of their culture, or “way of life.” But it’s a true lifestyle preference. Throughout the world, many forms of regular exercise are taking hold of whole general populations. Take walking, for example. In Europe, people are flocking to their local well-developed public hiking trails, and there’s quite a few of those spread across the USA as well. Walking of a moderate type is called Volkssport in Europe, and it’s really been around for many centuries.
Easy-going exercise such as walking continues to stave off heart disease, osteoporosis, high cholesterol and many types of cancer, as well as taking care of most of your belly flab. It doesn’t sound like much, but it will really tighten your whole body up. Your legs will especially benefit, and your buns will automatically grow firmer as you stroll. Not to mention that the worst investment you need to make is a pair of comfy, sturdy sensible shoes, preferably made of leather or canvas with rubber soles.
You may think that yoga is some uncomfortable form of Eastern self-punishment and mysticism, but it’s not. Yoga is great for toning your body, as it’s extremely gentle when done correctly. It combines traditional breathing and relaxation techniques with simple stretching. It’s good to use yoga during a weight-loss program when you’re sedentary, as it’s very easy on your body, you don’t have to repeat the same exercises every day, and it requires a minimal time commitment.
Yoga can be used in conjunction with a more rigorous exercise program to help maintain your overall state of fitness. “Yoga doesn’t take over your life, it enhances it,” says Alice Cristensen, founder and executive director of the American Yoga Association.
Continuing Your Program - Goals and Motivation
Okay, so you’ve gotten started, but what does all this have to do with watching your weight? To keep on schedule with this as your original goal, you also have to keep that commitment to lose enough poundage to be a healthy, happy and physically fit person.
First of all, you have to figure out exactly what you’re expecting to accomplish. Are you looking for optimal health, or do you really want to fit into slinky clothes better? Either way, you’re going to have to set goals and try to attain them as you go. It helps to clearly keep in mind what you’re aiming for, and it helps to visualize yourself at your ideal weight several times a day. This image impresses itself upon your subconscious and inwardly motivates you to continue your program with a bulldog’s sheer tenacity and motivation. You want that; whatever happens, you don’t want to stress out and quit. Try looking at old photographs of yourself at your ideal weight and picturing realistically what you’ll look like when you’re back there again. Don’t expect the Fountain of Youth, but you’d be shocked how close you can get to your mental picture, and how good you’re going to feel as you move your body, eat less liberally and become fit and not fat.
Also, you should make a brief list of the five major reasons you’re embarking on an exercise and weight-loss program. Do you want to bring down your blood pressure? Does being fat make you feel too old? Do you want to attract someone new in your life? When you sit in your car, does your stomach practically turn the steering wheel? Make it a point to carry this list with you wherever you go, and when you get in the mood to quit and give up, whip it out and read it aloud, saying to yourself that this is what you really want.
You must also remember to keep it simple when you’re losing weight. In most cases, burning more calories than you ingest is the biggest concern. You have to expend approximately 3,500 calories to lose one pound of adipose fat tissue. Water weight doesn’t count, and that’s what a lot of people lose at first. Also, the important thing about exercise is that you can eat almost normally and still lose the weight at a healthy and reasonable pace. If you don’t exercise and try to lose weight, you’ll be tempted to embark on a starvation diet. This has been shown to make you lose lean muscle mass instead of fat in most cases, and although you’ll drop some pounds, they may be the wrongest ones. Chances are that if you’re unfit while you’re losing weight, you’ll get physically tired, sleep less, become overly emotional, and stress out and become extremely irritable. It simply isn’t healthy to do it that way, so you need at least a moderate exercise program.
Try keeping a journal of your progress every day, and consult with it when you want to know how far along you’ve come. You can also use it to gauge how you’re doing, and whether or not you’re losing weight at a reasonable pace. Congratulate yourself every time you ate the right thing, kept to your walking schedule, or didn’t give in to temptation that day by making a brief note about it. Read the journal to inspire you about what you’re doing whenever you feel the urge to let go.
Meanwhile, as you chart your progress, take the time to reward yourself for everything you’re doing right. Ignore occasional slipups, and don’t let them bother you. Move on and motivate yourself by going to a movie, taking a break from work, going to the beach or whatever floats your boat. Don’t reward yourself with food, ever! Find other methods of loving life and use them. Treating yourself manifests your brain’s reward system and keeps you striving toward your goals.
Don’t forget to share any successes or failures with your friends and family. Tell them all about how proud you are of the new lifestyle choices you’re making, and share in their enthusiasm. They want you to be healthy and go on living, and so do you. But some of them may worry that you’re starving yourself or are in a state of denial. Reassure them, and proceed carefully with your healthy diet and exercise plans, while always knowing that it’s exactly what you need to do to look better, feel stronger and live longer.
Easy Dieting Tips to Live By - Starting Now
• Never eat after 7 pm. Studies prove that your body’s metabolism begins to shut down in the early evening. It needed fuel to function earlier, but at night you’re getting yourself ready to fall asleep. Eat the bulk of your daily food intake around noon–that’s when you’re burning the most calories. But if you work nights, do it the other way around, of course. It’s not the time of day that’s important; it’s the fact that your body is well-adjusted to a cycle where it doesn’t burn many calories before and during bedtime.
• Americans are used to eating super-sized meals, so learn to limit your portion size. Eat smaller meals five or six times a day instead of the standard three huge ones, and grab healthy snacks like vegetables, fruits and yogurt in-between. You want to prevent any binging or “pigging out” that could occur. Eat modestly, but often, and be sure to drink plenty of healthy fluids–mostly, pure cool water.
• Limit your intake of saturated fats, sugars and any other substances in food proven to add empty calories to your daily diet. Don’t drink any pop or sodas at all as they’re very bad for you generally, being full of chemicals. Diet sodas tempt you into drinking the sugary ones, and all soda pop robs water from your system and makes you thirstier. That can lead to eating more food.
• Eat lots of vegetables and fruits. You might want to go easy on some of the higher-calorie fruits such as starchy bananas, and don’t eat lots of high-fat avocados. But in general veggies are a dieter’s best friend. You might want to always eat your veggies with some meat protein to curb any histamines that might ravage your system and make it harder for you to breathe. Also, eating plenty of veggies kills the hunger signals from your brain, due to their sheer bulk and fiber. And the nutrients in fruits and veggies will increase your physical strength. Eat your spinach!
• Also eat lots of whole grains, which provide antioxidants that fight cancer and help you feel satisfied in a manner similar to that of eating veggies. But whole grains are even more filling, and help you digest your food. You want to eat plenty of fibrous foods, plus drinking lots of water, to flush toxins left over in your body from the dieting completely out of your system.
• Take a healthy multivitamin. Don’t go overboard and try to take everything, because some of the substances we need interact non-positively and can cause chemical imbalances. Consult with your doctor and see what’s recommended nowadays. One good wholistic multivitamin and mineral supplement–not a megadose of potentially harmful chemicals–can improve your skin, hair, overall appearance in general, and also your chances of managing on a little bit less food.
Lastly - Remember This
Please remain consistently aware of one thing: these are radical, life-changing choices that you’re making each day and night, and you’ve got to stick with them. Not everyone else in the world is going to live this way, but many people are and it’s a sensational start! Think that you really have no choice, if you want to go on living for many long years and be vibrant, strong and healthy. Realize that your loved ones truly need you, and that the right thing to do is to take the best possible care of yourself. Tell yourself that with honest compassion, every single waking moment of your entire life.
SIDEBARS
First sidebar: Please Make Your Kids Exercise!
America’s children are routinely both terribly inactive and physically unfit, which means the USA will face ever-increasing health care costs, reduced workplace productivity and a more restricted and undesirable quality of life.
Nowadays, TV, computers and their accompanying video games are replacing the physical sports and activities children used to play that enabled them to frequently exercise. Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes are becoming hideously prevalent among today’s modern kids. Fitness has become an anachronism for many of us, and we must continuously strive to get our children moving, running and laughing with each other before they succumb completely to unhealthy lifestyle patterns.
Researchers have found an existing relationship between the amount of TV watched and a child’s accumulated body fat. A healthy diet and vigorous exercise are needed as much by our nation’s children as they are by their sedentary and underactive parents. You should know exactly what’s appropriate for your child and how to instill the fun and repetitive behaviors that create a lifetime of pleasure and good health. And you must become a lasting, visible role model by demonstrating these capabilities outwardly, or they won’t take hold with your child.
There are basically two types of exercise the experts want you to consider. Aerobic exercise burns fat, and it can be very fun and involving for all ages. It causes rapid increases in your child’s breathing and heart rates, and must be performed over at least a twenty-minute time period. It takes that long for your child’s body to start burning its stored fat reserves. Aerobic exercise includes most team sports such as basketball, soccer, hockey, rowing, swimming, and running. It also includes individual sports such as bicycling, cross-country skiing, jogging, karate, rollerblading, tennis, and fast walking. (Continued on next page)
Second sidebar: Please Make Your Kids Exercise! (Continued)
Anaerobic exercise causes a short burst of exertion followed by a brief rest, and tends to develop stronger muscles. It complements the fat-burning aerobic exercise. This includes weight training and strength training, such as that done with free weights or standing equipment, and standard “training” exercises like pushups, crunches, pull-ups and other such floor exercises.
Most healthy children have little trouble working out on a twenty to thirty minutes, three to four times a week basis. But if your child is overweight and sedentary, he or she needs to begin on a similar schedule to that of a sedentary adult. You mustn’t let your child overdo it, either! Use the talk-sing rule. If while exercising, your child cannot sing but can still talk, he or she is moving around at a proper rate of pace.
Children need to imitate their parents and older siblings, and that means you must personally take on physical activities in front of them. Use family participation to stress the rules of active fitness, stressing variety, freedom and joy. Avoid overly regimented and competitive activities, and show your kids that being active is fun. Plan outings that involve long walks, such as going to the zoo or a national park, and encourage them to play extended outdoor games and easygoing supervised organized sports.
Our children are the blue-ribbon prizes of a well-lived existence, and need to be taught a lifelong appreciation of good diet and physical fitness. How can we idly sit by and take no action when the quality and decency of their lives is what’s truly at stake?