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Getting out of debt, securing you futures financial freedom, or just searching for your inner peace is a never ending quest in which we all strive for. We bring you all the advice you need to help you break down those fears, improve your relationships, bank account, and personal well being.

A compatibility relationship test in some ways should be mandatory for you before you get together in a relationship.

The reason I say this is because too often people make decisions without considering what the long term ramifications can be.

It is well known the divorce rate is very high in almost all countries of the developed world, let alone the number of people who separate after long term arrangements where they are not married, and therefore are not included in these statistics.

I’m sure avoiding marriage relationship problems would be achieved to some extent, if more people undertook a compatibility relationship test before proceeding to get together.

What often happens is people become infatuated or inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for each other, and go ahead with a marriage or relationship on that basis, without any compatibility quizzes.

It is not surprising when you have problems in your relationship if you go down that road as a consequence of that intense passion.

It is so important you are clear about their being a genuine feeling of love between you that a love compatibility test would show, before making any decision regarding the long term. If you are not sure, take your time.

It is not worth getting into a situation where you have committed yourself, and then have to deal with the hassles of handling relationship problems associated with ways to end relationships. A compatibility relationship test could be a way of checking where you stand.

There are so many relationship questions to ask when you find yourself in the situation of considering if you are going to establish an on-going committed relationship with another person, regardless of whether that involves getting married or not. It is so important you have a compatibility match.

People have different ideas about a whole range of issues in connection to marriage and relationships. If you are not clear about where you both stand in relation to a lot of these before getting together with a relationship test, there will be many basic relationship problems to deal with.

An issue such as monogamy, for example. I’m told it is not an uncommon gay relationship problem. Regardless of orientation, it is something each person needs to know where the other stands before embarking on a relationship.

A compatibility relationship test will clarify where each of you stands regarding such things as values, attitudes and beliefs. A serious relationship problem is inevitable if these matters are a bone of contention between you.

An example of this is that your values are very much aligned with having trust in relationships, and your prospective partner is the complete opposite, believing cheating in relationships is quite acceptable.

It would not work out very well if you got together and then discovered your partner thought along those lines. As far as I am concerned, it definitely would be a recipe for disaster and involve relationship commitment problems if your partner thought this way.

A compatibility relationship test would also reveal where each of you stands as far as integrity is concerned. If this is an important value for you, and you discover in a compatibility quiz test it is not for your prospective partner, run for your life.

Let’s be clear about it. To have integrity involves being honest and having strong moral principles. It means sincerity, truthfulness and trustworthiness are your life’s guideposts. Can you imagine the turmoil ahead if this is not a shared value and you would be able to discover this by means of a compatibility quiz.

Marriage relationship problems would also be inevitable if you have different attitudes. If you are an optimist and your partner a pessimist, forget about it, there is really no chance of a successful relationship.

If you have different beliefs, you may be a devout christian or a fundamentalist, and your prospective partner an atheist, a compatibility relationship test would let you know this.

Your approach to life would be very different, making it difficult for you to connect and this would affect your level of intimacy and communication.

The same can be said if you have different political affiliations. It is difficult to imagine how you would relate to each other at a deep level.

I am aware of several people where there are these relationship compatibility questions who have been married for a long time. I know they are not really happy, but they stay together, virtually leading separate lives.

If you dismiss the compatibility relationship test, and proceed with the marriage or relationship and there are all these differences, you are heading for a situation fraught with peril.

There will always be this underlying nagging feeling of discontent, that gnaws away inside you, and prevents you from ever experiencing joyousness.

This may become so much part of who you are, you can lose virtually all capacity for sustained peace of mind.

Staying in an unrewarding, stifling, or whatever sort of relationship it is for you, is a big sacrifice to make. There will be no acknowledgment of your achievement, nor awards or prizes.

Do the compatibility relationship test and take head of the results. You are now at a fork in the road of life, and the decision you make will have major consequences for the rest of your lifetime.

Long Distance relationships are a true test to a couple\’s commitment and personal limits. LDRs take a great amount of effort to maintain and often people involved in them, realize that they evolve into a state of emotion that they never found themselves in before. When your partner is miles away from you, it is very easy to let things go wrong and lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some people find it difficult to bridge the distance through communication, others become overly obsessed with what their partner is doing when they are not there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They key is balance and following some basic steps to keep your relationship healthy and strong.

Communicate and visit often

It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn\’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some \”rules\” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)

Avoid jealousy and be trusting

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don\’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven\’t met or he/she didn\’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won\’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

Be positive

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don\’t have \”face-to-face\” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.

Pilates sample exercises are specially performed on Pilates mats. They are designed to build familiarity with basic Pilate’s exercises.  These exercises are useful to develop muscles and get core strength of your body parts. These Pilates sample exercises provide flexibility and stability.

Pilates sample exercises help you to build balanced and flexible routine; these exercises are mainly focus on muscles of your body. These exercises are also useful to get better abdominal support.

Pilate’s sample exercises can be modified according to user’s fitness requirements, these modifications will depend on the fitness level of the people.  The selection of Pilate’s sample exercises will depend on the fitness requirements of the users. These exercises are performed under the instruction of trainers.

modification of Pilates sample exercises is essential to make these exercises easy and effective. These modifications make exercises much less difficult to perform. Reducing physical limitation of people is another advantage of these Pilates sample exercises.  These modification are done under the observation of trainers, trainers will guide you to perform exercises in a better and effective way. 

Warm up is essential to perform these Pilates sample Exercises, warm up usually done well before any strenuous exercise.  Warm up is essential to make exercise smooth and easy.

There many kinds of Pilates sample exercises such as angle arm, pelvic curl, pelvic clock, etc.  These exercises are performed on the Pilates mats.  Pilate’s exercises are useful to show you how to move the arms and shoulders without affecting the back and ribcage. These exercises are useful to get complete toned body posture. These exercises are useful to improve stability of your body and help you to get wide range of motions.

Pelvic clock is an example of Pilates sample exercise; this exercise is useful to perform body movement in any direction.  These movements of exercises will guide trainees to perform exercises without stressing their abdominal muscles.  These exercises will teach users to separate the movement of the hips from the movement of legs and hips sockets.

Pelvic exercise is an example of Pilates sample exercise; this exercise is a warm up for your spine and abdominal muscles. These exercises are very effective and useful.  This exercise is also useful to get balance between the two sides of the body. 

Imprinting is another basic Pilate’s exercise; it is most effective and relaxing exercise. This is very good exercise technique to perform before any exercise routine. Stress reduction is very good advantage of these Pilates sample exercises. This exercise is a perfect way to start your Pilates sample exercises routine. This exercise helps you to relax your spine and settle your body.  This exercise is quick and effective technique to reduce stress.

There are many resources are available to perform these Pilates sample exercises

Such as books, DVD’s, websites etc. these resources will tech users to perform Pilate’s exercises. They are most popular among fitness centers and gyms. 

These resources will help users to find their best Pilates exercises. Pilates sample exercises are simple and easy to use. These exercises are suitable for each age group of people.

Exercise is an important treatment in normalizing blood glucose level in type 2 diabetes as well as in type 1 diabetes. It is also important to know the type of exercise diabetics should undertake that involve minimizing the risks and at the same time deriving maximum benefits to normalize the blood sugar and giving good health. There are mainly three types of exercises - aerobic, anaerobic and stretching exercises.

Exercise is a vital part of the management of diabetes. All diabetics should aim to make exercise a part of their daily routine. Exercise can help to improve the quality of life for diabetics. But there are some safeguards to consider before you start an exercise regime. It is wise to consult your health professional before you begin. This would be true for anyone, but it is especially so for someone who suffers from diabetes.

That means that intense exercise can help to both prevent and treat diabetes. The most tissue damage occurs immediately after eating when blood sugar levels rise the highest. After you eat, sugar goes from the intestines into the bloodstream. The only places that sugar can be stored are in your muscles and liver. When your muscles are not exercised, they are full of sugar and sugar has no place to go after it enters your bloodstream.

Aerobic exercise, commonly referred to as cardio, raises the heart rate and the breathing rate while working major muscle groups. Cardio burns blood sugar and stored fat, and is recommended by most doctors for their diabetic patients. Dancing, swimming, aerobics, tennis, basketball, and bicycling are all forms of aerobic exercise. Cardio offers all of the benefits mentioned above, and is especially important for diabetics.

Exercises like jogging, swimming, fast walking and cycling are good for diabetics. These exercises help to keep cardiovascular system in good condition. These exercises should couple with stretching exercises as warming and cooling down exercises. A typical exercise session should consist of: 10 minutes of warming up exercise of stretching type; about 20-30 minutes of aerobic exercise and finally 5 minutes of cool down and stretching exercise.

A regular exercise program can help the body respond to insulin and is known to be effective in managing blood glucose. Diabetes types exercise can lower blood glucose and possibly reduce the amount of medication one needs to treat diabetes. Some are even able to eliminate the need for any medication. With exercise, one can also improve the circulation in many areas of the body such as arms, legs, fingers and the major joints.

Diabetes Exercise, along with good nutrition, helps decrease body fat, which helps control glucose metabolism. Exercise and good nutrition provide real physical payoffs–they are essential to controlling diabetes. Exercise can help prolong your life and get better the quality of your added months and years.

Q. What are the benefits of exercise?

A. For people with diabetes, the benefits of exercise are blood glucose level improvements, stress reduction, increased energy, weight control, and for those who participate in regular physical activity, which includes moderate aerobic exercise, there will be a reduction in cardiovascular disease risk.

Q. How do I begin an exercise program?

A. Schedule a physical exam with your physician before beginning your exercise activities. This is especially important if you have not been active recently. An EKG or ECG test (electrocardiogram) may be recommended by your doctor along with a graded exercise test to evaluate how exercise may effect your heart. Ask your doctor what types of exercise are best for you.

For any recommended exercise program, remember to begin slowly and safely, and gradually increase your physical activity level over time.

Q. What is an exercise goal?

A. Remember to discuss with your doctor how often to exercise, and what level of intensity at which you shoudl perform. Begin any exercise program with a slow, steady pace. Try to be active for at least 20 minutes in the beginning. You can steadily increase the time period for exercise over an eight (8) week period.

Research has proven that weight lifting (anaerobic exercise) may benefit people with diabetes. This type of exercise is known as “resistance training.” Lifting heavy weights may not be helpful for persons with certain diabetes complications, so always comply with your physician’s recommendations.

Q. What are the different types of exercise?

A. There are two main types of exercise, anaerobic and aerobic exercise. Anaerobic exercise involves lifting weights or using exercise bands. Activity usually lasts for a shorter duration and involves intense activity done in short bursts. Anaerobic exercise is commonly known as “resistance training” and the goal is to build muscle and increase strength.

Aerobic exercise works the large muscle groups in the arms and legs. Examples of this include: jogging, brisk walking, swimming, biking, dancing, biking and rowing. Aerobic exercise gradually increases the heart and breathing rates. Aerobic exercise is usually recommended for most diabetic patients because of the proven benefits to the cardiovascular system (heart, lungs, and blood vessels).

Q. What if I have had a sedentary lifestyle?

A. You will improve your overall health by increasing your activity level. Take advantage of any opportunity to bend and stretch as much as possible during the day.

To make your day more active, here are some simple tips to get ready, get set, and get moving:

Parking your car further away from the store when you go shopping Use stairs rather than elevators whenever possible Communicate with neighbors or co-workers by stopping by in person, rather than using the phone to call Stay active at home with light gardening and housework chores

Q. What are the strategies for exercising success?

A. Make exercise part of your daily schedule - even small increases in physical activity will be beneficial to your health. Being active simply means moving more!

All physical activities should begin with a warm-up, and then progress to the chosen exercise. After exercising; remember to have a cool-down period. You will see the most progress with your exercise plan when you are consistent with a specific type of activity. For example, if you chose to walk, try to find the most convenient time of day for walking, and then stick to it.

Your exercise program should always include these three (3) essential elements:

Warm-up: Approximately 5-10 minutes of stretching and bending. This will prevent injuries to muscles and joints.

Activity: 20 minutes (or more) of sustained physical activity. This includes walking, biking, aerobics, swimming, or other sports, such as tennis or racquetball. Cool-Down: Gradually reduce your activity, and then stretch for at least 5 minutes.

Q. Are there any exercise precautions or other guidelines?

A. Remember, exercise will lower your blood glucose level. If you feel symptoms of hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), take glucose tablets or gel to treat low blood sugar. Avoid very vigorous activity when the insulin activity is peaking (insulin is working at the hardest level). If you plan to exercise at moderate or high intensity, check your blood sugar before beginning your exercise. If the blood glucose level is below 100 mg/dl, eat a light snack with a carbohydrate source before exercising. Remember, low blood sugar can occur shortly after exercise or up to 24 hours after physical activity, so monitor blood glucose levels regularly.

When purchasing shoes for exercise, protect your feet with properly fitting shoes and socks. Plan to purchase your shoes at the end of the day when your feet are larger. Avoid open-heeled or open-toed shoes.

Shoe-Fit guidelines: the in-step of the shoe should conform to your the size and the shape of your foot. Your toes should have some “wiggle-room” - the shoes should securely fit at the heel to prevent slipping.

Sock Suggestions: White socks should be used, and they should be soft and padded with no seams.

Diabetic patients need adjustments in insulin dosing or eating schedule. Food intake may need adjusting to prevent low blood sugar when exercising. For example, if you will be bike riding, do not

inject insulin into your leg. Insulin should not be injected into a body part that you will use during exercise.

Wear medical identification as a precaution when exercising.

Remember to drink water and stay well hydrated. At least 64 ounces of water should be consumed daily.

 

You can find more articles at Destination Diabetes

 

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very sensitive matters that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building effective and lasting relationships is necessary for several reasons in the business world. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works. An effective and efficient group or organization will provide a good work culture as well as productivity for the company.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management or administration. An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities that depend on these groups or organization also suffer. Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties’ feelings and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them. They would also feel a sense of belong in an understanding relationship.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to express their feelings and positions openly on all matters pertinent to the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us what we need it without asking for it is not a good practice. We are human beings and we cannot read other people’s minds. So, communicating our needs and expressing our feelings will further contribute to effective and efficient relationships.

Respect is the essential key to a successful relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is being judgmental based on unfounded facts and prejudice. Always take time to listen and request for clarification to every situation before making a final judgment. Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship and being judgmental can jeopardize the trusting and respectful connection in a relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives. Be ready to accept the differences and try to make use of the different perspectives as positive compliments to the relationship.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties. This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party’s needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. When faced with a contrasting opinion, find the best solution or compromise that would solve the problem without damaging either parties. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings at ease by effectively listening without pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other. Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly. When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one of these things found in a relationship. Also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party’s feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to everyone. Addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say ‘No man is an Island’.

By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright March 2008

(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)

“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”

*Below is the twentieth episode based on a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.

- Review Questions -

1. Remember the Communication issues discussed in “Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (11)…” and that Miscommunication can cause half of all relationship problems?

2. Have you looked at Your List, the list of your personal Needs and Desires lately (“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ [12])?

3. Does Your List represent your current Vital and Important needs/desires (as discussed in “Experiences from ‘The Flow’ [13]…”); or have your needs/desires drastically changed?

4. When you now weigh your items on your personal Satisfaction Scale (“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ [14]…”), is the picture the same; or has it changed from Compatibility to Incompatibility?

5. Has your once Compatible Relationship turned into a Neutral Relationship? If so, please re-examine the ins and outs of Neutral Relationships (“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ [15]…”).

6. Are you succumbing to Fear and letting a Neutral or Incompatible Relationship continue to siphon joy from your life? Maybe you should remember the salient points in “Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (16) and (17)…”?

(By the way, the English friend I mentioned in (17) is back in his home country and doing well. The other friend who opted to stay is still the same – miserable. He sure has a lot more patience than me!).

7. If you are in a relationship with a Bar Girl, are you beginning to understand the challenges you face? As described in the last two articles “Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (18) and (19)…,” Bar Girls can be difficult to fathom. They are truly a different breed, aren’t they?

The point of all these questions?

You must constantly evaluate the status of your relationship.

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If something feels good, how can you increase it?

Too many people get blind-sided because they don’t monitor the important things in their own lives, especially relationships.

Fear, ignorance, or pure complacency can easily cause a Compatible Relationship to deteriorate (oftentimes, very rapidly) into one of its lesser cousins (Neutral and/or Incompatible).

Relationships behave like living things. They need constant care and nourishment to flourish.

They must grow or die.

How can you keep yours alive and thriving?

- Stay in the Present -

Review Your List.

Why? Nothing stays the same. Like all things in life, we all change.

If you refuse to accept this fact of life, you’ll end up spending most of your time lamenting the loss of things (and days) gone by.

How sad this is.

- Coulda’, Woulda’, Shoulda’ -

It reminds me of most of the retired military veterans I’ve met in Asia.

Without a nest egg, passive income (from investments), a follow-on career, or business, they are forced to live within their moderate military pensions; hence, they hang out at U.S. military base bars in Asia almost every night.

They desperately seek others who will patiently sit with them and offer a sympathetic ear. Then they re-live their pasts (over and over again).

When in good spirits, they embellish their nostalgia and tell their stories of romantic conquests and heroic military achievements – to anyone who will listen.

But when feeling down, all one can hear is their “coulda’, woulda’, shoulda’” stories.

In other words, they are stuck in the past.

Regarding your relationship, are you still in the past?

The past is past. Stay in the present.

- In the Present -

Update Your List to reflect your current needs and desires. Do the Compatibility Analysis again.

Look at your new, current Satisfaction Scale.

What does it look like?

What are the Pluses in your relationship now? How can you regain Pluses that have disappeared? How can you add more Pluses or strengthen existing ones. Be creative.

Are the old Minuses still there? Why?

For example, if language was a Minus, why haven’t you and her worked on alleviating the problem?

Compared to the beginning of your relationship, are there additional Minuses now? If so, why? Are they insurmountable? Can you fix them (or permit them and still continue the relationship)?

- Accept Reality -

Remember that nothing stands still.

This includes relationships – especially neglected ones.

Has your relationship gotten better?

Whether yes or no, you must accept reality.

Great and good relationships must be nurtured to continue (and hopefully become even better, stronger). How is this done? Simple. Add more Pluses and lessen the Minuses!

Adding Pluses and lessening Minuses can also bring Newly Neutral Relationships back from the brink with a minimum of hassle and pain.

But if it’s not worth it anymore, don’t escalate your commitment. Take your losses and move on.

- Farang, Know Thyself! -

Some readers may think that this whole series of articles on relationships and compatibility is somewhat self-centered and selfish.

You bet you’re a$$ it is!

No one can control you - but you.

Left uncontrolled (that is, having no self-discipline) and ignorant, most new Farangs (Thai: foreigners) lose out big time in Thailand.

Think of it.

The communication issue already puts Farangs at a huge disadvantage. The culture lends itself to exploiting Farangs because, in their eyes, “all foreigners are rich!”

And our funny, foreign ways are as amusing to them as theirs are to us. Thai people have no qualms at laughing at our “weird ways.”

But since this is their country, we must not be blatant about our own amusement (e.g., pointing at them and laughing – like they so often do to us); it would make them lose face and eventually affect us negatively.

Love and romance is intimately entwined with money in Thailand – something totally foreign to most foreigners. The Love/Money issue leads to all the stereotypical sob stories of heartbreak, anger, and bankruptcy that I hear about daily.

(Ultimately, that makes us Farangs “Traveling Side-Shows and walking ATMs.”)

- The Invisible Hand -

You must accept the fact that you can’t change anyone else.

If the true natures of each person in a relationship are incompatible, why continue? For all concerned, it is far better to move on to a more naturally suitable partner or to simply live alone.

To continue living with an incompatible partner is a recipe for chronic misery.

Don’t feel guilty about expressing what you need and want to others (and more importantly, to yourself). Lying to others and yourself is stupid and will only lead to unhappiness.

Akin to Adam Smith’s economic “Invisible Hand,” I believe in “The Invisible Hand” of relationships. If each person acts in their own best interest, all will profit. Compatibility will find more Compatibility. Less time, energy, and resources will be wasted on Incompatible people and relationships.

If it’s not a win/win, you really should walk away.

When more people are true to themselves, that is, they know who they are and what they truly want from a relationship/partner, more relationships would succeed instead of fail.

And more time can be spent on enjoying Compatible ones.

- 7 Recommendations -

1. Constantly evaluate your situation.

2. Remember that relationships need to keep growing to stay alive. This means you must continually add Pluses and lessen Minuses.

3. Accept Reality. Don’t escalate commitment in a doomed relationship.

4. Don’t feel guilty about seeking what you need and want.

5. By all means, remember that life was meant to be happy and fulfilling. Why waste it on a lose/win relationship?

6. You can not change anyone who doesn’t want to change!

7. You can only control yourself.

“Until next time, find ‘The Flow’ and jump in!”

Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo

Farang, Thailand, compatible, relationship, bar girl, pluses, minuses, advice, Invisible Hand, escalate commitment, scale, needs, desires.

Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’: From Heartbreak to Happiness”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES…”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (4): LOST AND FOUND – Meant to Be?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (5): “The Stray”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (6): “New Beginnings, Old Endings”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (9): New Girlfriend, New Life.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (10): Farangs and Asians – Polarized Views.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (16) - Farang: Make Your Scale Sway or Walk Away.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (18): A Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (19): Another Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?”

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”



(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)

Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com

Centuries before, women are expected to just stay at home, manage the household and take care of the children. Some will probably do some charity works just to have something that will occupy their free time. There is however no question on what should come first. Relationships and family will always be first priority.

Times have changed.

Today, women —-and men at that —- choose between career and relationships. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, most will choose career. A materialistic society spawned people who are more into careers than personal relationships. With a fast-paced world and the competitiveness in the professional world, they feel that opportunities in their careers will only knock once. Because of this they sacrifice their personal relationships in favor of their careers.

Some people even set-up their lives by completely deleting the need for choice. These are the people who are confirmed workaholics, building their career at the expense of family and relationships. But should there be a choice? Should there be a contest between personal and professional life? Should one be sacrificed for the other?

Some individuals have actually been able to handle having a relationship and building a successful career path. All it seems to take is proper time management and honesty.

Below are some tips on how to have the best of both worlds.

Set boundaries.

In managing both a career and a relationship, one thing that you should do first is to set boundaries and establish some ground rules. Define early on in the relationship what you want and just how far you can sacrifice one at the expense of the other. Your partner will appreciate the honesty. This will also help clear things and will define just where the relationship starts. Prioritizing work does not mean that you do not care for your partner or you love them less the same way prioritizing your partner and your family does not mean that you are not committed to your career.

Anticipate problems with schedules

Emergency deadlines and unexpected appointments are not new to work especially if you are holding an important position. This can lead to canceled dates or forgotten anniversaries. To prevent disagreements and misunderstandings, it is important that you anticipate things and talk about these kinds of situations before they happen.

Make your partner understand that you cannot turn away from your responsibilities. Talking about things will minimize fights and misunderstandings. Still, even though you have already talked about it, when the situation arises, apologize still and try to make up after. One mistake that couples make is they become angry when their partner expect them to still explain things.

Set time for each other

You can accomplish anything if you just set your mind to it. Making a success of both your personal and professional life just needs proper time management. While work is also an important part of your life, do not make it the center of your existence. Allot time for your partner. One strategy that will work is to set a specific night in a week where you both can go out and just be together. This way, you will already have an idea what dates to avoid when you are setting appointments.

You should also take a week off from work once or twice a year and spend it with your partner. Go to a tropical island or beach. Travel abroad. This way, you can regain the closeness that you have outside the pressure of your professional life.

Quality time vs quantity

It is not actually the amount of time that you spend together but how you spend your time. You can spend the whole week together but if you spend them worrying and thinking about work, you might as well go to the office. Make sure that if you spend time together, you will only be thinking of non-work things. Make the most of every minute that you spend together. Connect with each other and do things that you will both enjoy.

Work is work, love is love

If you are having problems at work, make sure that you do not bring it to your relationship. Try to separate these two components of your life.

Improving Your Relationships — Relationship Dynamics from a Spiritual Perspective – Part I

(Excerpted from “Invisible Blueprints”)

“Love is everything. It is the key to life, and its influences are those that move the world.”

-Ralph Waldo Trine

“Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.”

-Mohandas K. Gandhi

My Integrative Intuitive Counseling work with clients over the past fifteen-plus years has given me the bird’s-eye view of relationships and the dynamics involved in them from an energetic point of view.

One of the areas in which I had early glimpses of these realizations and lessons in energy is that of relationships, especially romantic relationships. It goes without saying that relationships are very important to most of us and represent an extremely important aspect of our human experience, as Trine and Gandhi above so articulately expressed it. So of course most clients will want information on this area of their lives.

I’ve looked at many, many relationships over the past several years, including those a client was involved in at the time of a session, those from a client’s past, and future relationships. I’ve also looked at nonromantic relationships, including those with friends, parents, children, other family members, work colleagues, etc. I have increasingly gained insight into how relationships work (and why they do work at times and often do not work) and what the causative or contributing factors to the dynamics operative in this aspect of our lives may be. Over time, I gradually saw several factors that I feel influence the dynamics and viability of relationships.

Resonance of Energies

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

-Carl Jung

“Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between partners.”

-Colette Dowling

Early on in looking at romantic relationships I was primarily sensing how people’s energies resonated — or didn’t resonate well — and how that energetic resonance between the two of them affected both the dynamics of the relationship and the positive or negative aspects of what the people in the relationship were experiencing. Some people’s energies resonated quite well. Other people’s energies quite simply abraded.

For example, I’ve seen relationships in which one person’s energy was overwhelming the other’s energy. This often leads to the latter person feeling overwhelmed and powerless or constrained, certainly not a pleasant way to feel in a relationship. I’ve also seen relationships in which one person’s energy is warm and expansive and the other person’s energy is cooler or indifferent and/or contracted or narrow. This is also not a good interaction of energies. As telling as these dynamics of energy resonances were, I came to learn in time, however, that there were factors involved other than just the resonance of energies that contributed to whether relationships were good, workable, or true partners or “soul mates.”

Learning Relationships

“How savage is love that plants a flower and uproots a field; that revives us for a day and stuns us for an age!”

-Kahlil Gibran

I soon came to see how people’s inauthentic stuff — their issues — affected the dynamics in a relationship. Because the inauthentic overlay contributes to and affects one’s general energy, this inauthentic stuff will often be part of what is resonating (or abrading) between two people’s energies.

Often the pull between two people will be their “stuff” resonating, rather than who they really are. For example, one of the more common manifestations of this type of resonance occurs when a dependent person who may also be sensitive emotionally and/or come from some sort of abusive background is romantically involved with someone with strong and controlling energy; or when one person who is open emotionally and needs to connect and communicate openly with his/her partner is involved with someone who is closed down or withdrawn emotionally and thus neither available emotionally nor oriented towards truly openly connecting with someone. I have seen instances in which two people’s “stuff” is so complex and mutually resonating that they appear to fit together like a complex system of reciprocal keys fitting into each other’s locks. Often a condition of button-pushing and/or mutual interdependence in an unhealthy manner results from this type of resonance. (Hence, the term codependence.) Relationships of this type often exemplify a mixture of contradictory energies; they may be love/hate relationships or be full of volatility – and are rarely “clear sailing.” They are also frequently quite painful and can be emotionally draining.

This type of relationship, that is based on the inauthentic stuff resonating is often, as you may suspect, doomed to failure. I have seen many clients who were in this type of relationship and who may have stuck it out for years because they have both resistance to and inertia over getting out of the situation. Other clients may extricate themselves in a shorter period of time. If, how, and when these relationships are resolved is usually a function of the individual’s process and growth and his/her readiness for or resistance to change.

Usually when the decision is made to leave the relationship, it is because the person initiating that change has grown personally to the point where the personal lessons from the relationship are learned and the relationship no longer serves a purpose or feels the same. In other words, the resonance is no longer there. (This latter instance is representative of the common phenomenon that, as we learn and grow, we may grow past the people we’ve been close to, if they are not also evolving and growing. Kristen Zambucka described this phenomenon when she stated that, “We outgrow people, places, and things as we unfold. We may be saddened when old friends say their piece and leave our lives…but let them go. They were at a different stage and looking in a different direction.” This can be disconcerting to us, especially if we don’t realize that, if our energies are no longer resonating, any former feeling of closeness usually evaporates — and if we further don’t realize that this “changing of partners” is indicative of something positive in us, i.e., our personal growth.)

Over time and through repeatedly seeing a number of this type of relationship, I came to realize that these relationships that are based on the partners’ inauthentic stuff resonating are what I now call learning relationships. In other words, we often enter into some relationships primarily to learn and grow by working on our inauthentic stuff, and this purpose of learning tends to be the primary raison d’être for this type of relationship. This is distinguished from the soul mate or partner relationship in which we may be stimulating each other’s growth, but it’s not the sole purpose for the relationship.

The positive aspect of learning relationships is that they are often a wonderful catalyst for our growth. Each learning relationship tends to be centered around healing or reworking one or more aspects of our stuff. Put another way, “Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you” (Mike Murdock). And, usually, until we work on whatever the relationship is trying to teach us and we “get” it, we are doomed to keep repeating the lesson; that is, we can have a pattern of serially entering into similar relationships. Recognizing that we have a pattern in relationships can give us the key to realizing that there is something in ourselves to work on. “To understand is to perceive patterns,” Isaiah Berlin wrote — including our own patterns.

If, instead, we don’t recognize that there is something to work on in ourselves we may stay stuck in the pattern for a more prolonged period of time. Often we will then project our unhappiness and blame externally and decry all men or all women as being “worthless,” “unavailable,” etc. — until we learn to figuratively point that finger back towards ourselves and look within to see what we need to work on or change in ourselves. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves” (Jung). Or, as Molière wrote, “One should examine oneself for a long time before thinking of condemning others.”

A variation on this theme of projection and blame centers around those people who are “rescuers.” Rescuers (not an essence type) are often soft-hearted people who are perpetually trying to help and rescue others, sometimes to the extent that they actually believe that that is one of their purposes in life. As with those who project their own stuff outwardly and blame others and things outside of themselves, rescuers often need to figuratively point their fingers back at themselves and look within for what they need to rescue in themselves. A pattern of needing to rescue others often serves to deflect one’s attention from his/her own stuff and what he/she needs to work on within him/herself. As Aldous Huxley wrote, “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self.”

Learning relationships, especially those that engage us emotionally in an intense manner, are a strong mechanism by which we can evolve, as we are stimulated more — through the power of emotion — by these often difficult and/or painful relationship experiences. I myself gained a major lesson in self-esteem through a relationship that was dysfunctional and quite difficult. However, the lesson was extremely valuable and was permanently gained — and, indeed, may have been all the more permanently etched in me due to the extent of the difficulty and emotional struggle I went through.

What we stand to gain from relationships such as these will vary from one person to the next and can run the gamut from learning self-esteem, to becoming less passive and dependent, to learning to be more emotionally available, to being more caring, to being less self-absorbed — or even to becoming more discerning about relationships. The lessons can be quite diverse. However, one theme running through these learning relationships is that the universe is drawing attention to our inauthentic “stuff” that keeps us from being who we really are and is asking us to work on it. Not everyone, of course, will work on all, or even any, of his/her stuff in a lifetime because that may indeed be, as previously mentioned, what we are to experience in that lifetime – never getting back to our pure essence (and, also as previously mentioned, not everyone will have much inauthentic stuff to work on or clear).

Interestingly, I’ve seen another mechanism by which these learning relationships operate and that has to do with another factor that induces the two people to be together in a relationship, other than just the resonance of the inauthentic stuff. This factor will often manifest itself as a “pull” between the two people. This pull is often experienced as a sexual attraction, but may also be experienced as a mental or psychic pull: they are just drawn to the other person for some reason and can’t get that person out of his/her mind; or they are continually trying to figure the other person out. (And, yes, this can lead to obsession.)

What I have frequently seen that I find fascinating is that often when the lesson that was a major raison d’être for the relationship is finally learned, the pull between the two of them — sexual attraction, mental conundrum, obsession, or whatever — just disappears as if by magic. I regard this “pull,” however it is expressed and experienced, as a device used by the universe to get us to learn a lesson (by getting us into the relationship that will teach us the lesson). Such an interesting and creative device!

Physical inability is one of the risk factors when one has the diabetes disorder, hence, diabetes and exercise must go hand in hand. The correlation between diabetes and exercise is the ability of the latter to prolong the life of the afflicted, while the lack of exercise on the other hand can lead to diabetes.

Diabetes is having high blood sugar level due to the non-conversion of glucose to energy from the food that we eat like sugar and starches.Nevertheless we can also high blood sugar levels (hyperglycemia) if sugar and starches are not burned naturally via exercise.

How does a Diabetic Benefit from Exercise?

1. Improved blood circulation in the arms and the legs.

2. Reduced cholesterol level and high blood pressure. This will prevent stroke or heart attack.

3. You will maintain the ideal weight by burning the calories or better yet, lose weight.

4. Helps the body react to insulin which could even lead to the elimination of medication.

5. Relief from stress brought about by the diabetes disease.

However, before you engage in any particular form of exercise, better see your doctor for the proper exercise program.

When is the Appropriate Time to Exercise?

According to the results conducted by the Quebec Heart Institute, there is a considerable reduction in the blood glucose if exercise is done from 4 to 5 hours after eating the last meal.

Therefore, if lunch is taken at 12:00 o’clock noon, the ideal time to exercise is from 4 to 5 in the afternoon. The research also discourages exercise before taking your breakfast.

Diabetes and Exercises that are Best and Effective

Ideally, diabetics should exercise everyday for at least 30 minutes up to 1 hour, if possible.

If you’re suffering from diabetes, you can choose between aerobic and anaerobic exercises:

a. Aerobic- In this type of exercise, the body uses more oxygen due to the steady exercise for a period of time. The results expected are lower blood lipids, stronger heart and lungs and lower blood pressure. Other forms of exercises may include swimming, brisk walking, jogging, cycling, skiing, and dancing.

b. Anaerobic- This exercise relies mostly on muscles at high rate but shorter period of time hence, the effect on the blood sugar level is not substantial. Examples are weightlifting, sprinting or any other sports that require rapid burst of exercise.

There are 3 categories of anaerobic exercises:

1. Isotonic- This exercise aims to enhance power, muscle strength and endurance by means of pulling, lifting or pushing different weights at steady speed. Examples are lifting of weights or dumbbells; and springs and bands.

2. Isometric- This is based on muscle contraction on immovable object to strengthen the muscle tension like pushing a wall. This is currently used in rehabilitation purposes.

3. Calisthenics- This exercise does not require the use of weights but helps to be more flexible and boost body strength. Examples are push-ups, sit-ups and squats.

When is Exercise not Beneficial to the Diabetic?

Generally, diabetes and exercises have a compatible correlation. However, there are times that exercise is not applicable. If your blood sugar rose higher than your blood sugar level at the time that your diabetes was diagnosed, it would be better to temporarily suspend routine exercise and refer the matter to your doctor.

Although sugar levels may vary per laboratory, the normal blood sugar level is 100 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dl). At a pre-diabetic stage it may range from 100 mg/dl to 125 mg/dl. Persons suffering from diabetics have 126 mg/dl or higher.

Hence, if in spite of regular exercises your blood sugar level does not improve or becomes higher, it would be best for you to stop the exercise routine and consult your physician.

Exercise should also be aided by proper diet to attain good results and only forms part of a natural cure. Thus, diabetes and exercise plus a diabetic’s diet can prolong and promote a better life despite diabetes.

Alvin Hopkinson is a leading health researcher in the area of natural remedies and diabetes natural treatment. Discover how you can reverse your diabetes for good using proven and effective home remedies, all without using harmful medications or drugs. Visit his site now at http://www.minusdiabetes.com